JOKES OF THE WEEK
Sci-fi adventure has mix of gaming’s best bits
OPENED the post, and there’s a calculator, an abacus and a letter.
Something just doesn’t add up.
MAURICE and Silvia are sitting in their retirement community in south Florida one evening when Silvia turns to Maury and says, “Honey, I would really love some ice cream. Would you mind running to the grocery store to pick me up a pint of vanilla?”
Maury pats her on the hand. “Of course my Silvia. I’ll be back soon.” And off he goes in their Oldsmobile to the grocer.
A few minutes later Silvia decides to turn on the local channel and reacts with a start when she hears: “This is Kurt McMaster with breaking news. There is currently a deranged man driving on the streets of south Florida into oncoming traffic.
“We are urging all drivers and pedestrians to get off of the roads as quickly as possible until this situation is resolved!”
Silvia gets up, takes out her
Jitterbug phone, and calls
Maurice.
“Maurice darling! You have to get off the road. There is a madman driving into oncoming traffic!”
He replies: “Silvia, you aren’t going to believe this.
There are hundreds of them!”
TWO beetles, are born as brothers. One travels the world, makes friends, and is an inspiration to insects.
The other doesn’t. He was the lesser of two weevils.
I TRAINED four of my koi fish to escape.
A koi, B koi and C koi all got away because everyone chased the D koi.
MY FRIEND got me a ruler from Smiths. Heaven knows I’m measurable now.
MY FRIEND said he’s a fan of pachyderms — but only likes rhinos, elephants, pigs and tapirs.
I told him he was being hippo critical.
A FRIEND of mine started rubbing tomato ketchup on his eyes.
In Heinz sight, it wasn’t a good idea.
Platform: PlayStation 5
Genre: Action-adventure
Stellar Blade is like a greatest hits record. It seems to jump from one gaming great to another in seamless transition.
One minute you’re in a Soulslike game, battling a huge boss, dying a lot, slowly learning its weaknesses, before brilliantly beating it into the ground.
Other encounters feel more like Monster Hunter. Then it’s straight onto a bit of climbing, Uncharted-style wall traversing and jumping.
There are Batman Arkham inspirations with your scanning tech and locked doors, battles through hordes of mini enemies and loot hunting, and then major sections of storytelling that feature high-end graphics as good as the latest Spider-Man.
It’s a mishmash of various favourite games from the last few years on the Playstation. And while absolutely none of it is original, it does work.
You play Eve, a 7th Airborne Squad
GAMES REVIEWS
fighter sent to abandoned Earth to try to reclaim it from the Naytiba, the malevolent force that has devastated it.
The sci-fi action RPG calls on you to save humankind by reclaiming our planet from all kinds of monsters and beasties.
But as Eve tackles the Naytiba one-byone, piecing together the mysteries of the past in the ruins of human civilisation, she realises that her mission is far from straightforward.
Epic
This is the debut console game from Korean developer Shift Up. And you can tell they’ve put a lot of love into making Stellar Blade a gamer’s game.
One that feels blockbuster and epic in design but, when stripped down, remains at its core — fun to play.
There are some frustrations with the controls. In the bits between the boss fights I found it difficult at times to get hero Eve to run, jump and climb how I wanted.
And even in major brawls, the key dodge mechanism can sometimes feel hit-andmiss. Which is far from ideal.
But, when Stellar Blade has its groove on it really is a blast to play. The graphics detail and animation levels are top drawer, up there with the best blockbusters on PS5.
But it is odd to see the developers depicting Eve as an over-sexualised young woman with barely-there clothing in the heart of an intergalactic battle for Earth.
That feels like it should be rooted well and truly in gaming’s past and is a step in the wrong direction.
Shift Up set out to deliver a complete game. By pulling on the strings of many a modern classic they’ve been able to deliver a fun, tough, playable title that’s addictive and enjoyable.
But it can be improved on in both image style and gameplay if there is a sequel.