Win back your child

Irish Examiner - Feelgood - - Feature -

It’s es­pe­cially im­por­tant to con­nect with our chil­dren after any time of sepa­ra­tion, even after the sepa­ra­tion caused by sleep.

In Hold on to Your Kids, Dr Gor­don Neufeld writes about his own sons. “Right after the boys woke up, my wife and I put them on our laps, held them, played and joked with them un­til the eyes were en­gaged, the smiles were forth­com­ing and the nods were work­ing. After that, ev­ery­thing went much more smoothly.”

Pro­vide some­thing for child to hold onto. When Dr Ga­bor Maté was try­ing to re­claim his then 16-year-old peer-oriented daugh­ter, he made it a weekly rit­ual for them to have din­ner to­gether. “It didn’t mat­ter whether we were do­ing well or not with each other. We kept it up for years. ”

We of­ten push our chil­dren to grow up, hur­ry­ing them along in­stead of invit­ing them to rest. Con­vey to your child that she can trust you, count on you, lean on you, be cared for by you.

Be your child’s com­pass point. Con­fi­dently as­sume your po­si­tion in their life as guide and in­ter­preter.

Ori­ent them about their own sig­nif­i­cance: ‘You have a spe­cial way of’; ‘You have what it takes to’; ‘I can see you’re go­ing to go far with’.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Ireland

© PressReader. All rights reserved.