Win back your child
It’s especially important to connect with our children after any time of separation, even after the separation caused by sleep.
In Hold on to Your Kids, Dr Gordon Neufeld writes about his own sons. “Right after the boys woke up, my wife and I put them on our laps, held them, played and joked with them until the eyes were engaged, the smiles were forthcoming and the nods were working. After that, everything went much more smoothly.”
Provide something for child to hold onto. When Dr Gabor Maté was trying to reclaim his then 16-year-old peer-oriented daughter, he made it a weekly ritual for them to have dinner together. “It didn’t matter whether we were doing well or not with each other. We kept it up for years. ”
We often push our children to grow up, hurrying them along instead of inviting them to rest. Convey to your child that she can trust you, count on you, lean on you, be cared for by you.
Be your child’s compass point. Confidently assume your position in their life as guide and interpreter.
Orient them about their own significance: ‘You have a special way of’; ‘You have what it takes to’; ‘I can see you’re going to go far with’.