Xhaka isn’t the X fac­tor Arse­nal are look­ing for

Irish Examiner - Sport - - SOCCER -

Tim Sherwood has erected a mon­u­ment to Burn­ley: “They’re a stat­ued Pre­mier League club now.”

Ray Par­lour doesn’t know what Tot­ten­ham fans are wor­ried about: “If their record had been ter­ri­ble last year, if Wem­b­ley had been re­ally hin­der­ous…” week­end: Glenn Hod­dle call­ing Aubameyang “Obiang”.

Be­com­ing clear why Tim Sherwood will be stick­ing to the pun­ditry game: “There’s not a man­ager on this earth who’s look­ing at tac­tics in the dugout in the heat of the mo­ment.”

A ca­reer prob­ing man­agers to find out if the most im­por­tant thing was the three points is be­gin­ning to open some doors:

“Geoff Shree­ves to un­veil re­fur­bished chang­ing pavil­ion at Win­gate & Finch­ley FC.” Paul Mer­son doesn’t do any­thing by halves: “Arse­nal have spent 385 mil­lion. That’s dou­ble less than Liver­pool and Chelsea.”

Paul Mer­son at Everton v Southamp­ton: “Bournemouth have started brightly.”

Ian Abra­hams hatched a new one: “Cech squirmed the ball past his right hand post. Emery would have been hav­ing chick­ens.”

Some im­pres­sive in-depth ath­let­ics anal­y­sis by for­mer Sunderland man Mickey Gray, though he still hasn’t quite got the mea­sure of Dina Ash­ersmith’s achieve­ments: “To achieve what she has, to pre­pare for the 100 me­tres and then jump into the 200m after that, which is a dif­fer­ent prepa­ra­tion al­to­gether, ob­vi­ously we know how far it is, it’s an ex­tra 100 yards fur­ther.”

When the Sham­rock Rovers tin­sel tifo ap­peared dur­ing the derby with Bohs, Brian Kerr en­deared him­self for life to Blue Nile fans: “Tin­sel­town in the Rain.” TWEET @dan­ger­here

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