Is big business leading to a loss of empathy and understanding?

LAST Sunday week, when I turned on the oven to cook the dinner, it failed to heat.

I had intended to phone a repairs guy named John that I used before first thing Monday but, somehow, the day slipped by, and by the time I remembered, the clock read 17.27pm.

John did not answer, so I left a message. He returned my call within half an hour. He said that he was in Portlaoise and would call on his way home, between half past six and seven.

I knew from past experience that he would be as good as his word. He landed in at five to seven, and, within two hours of my call, the oven was fixed.

A few days later, Robin phoned our farm computer software provider looking for help in linking our weighing scales to an EID tag reader and his computer. Within minutes, the person concerned had made an appointment to call.

In contrast, a while back, I got a call from my mobile phone provider, part of a self-described “renowned multinational conglomerate which employs approximately 270,000 people worldwide,” offering me a new phone on upgrade. I accepted.

Two weeks later, the phone hadn’t arrived, but it had already appeared on my bill.

It took me almost eight hours on the phone, being transferred between sections, on-hold and dropped calls before I got to talk to someone who could cancel the order and repay what I had been charged.

In another instance, when my call was finally answered, by a machine, I was told, “Your wait time is (pause) greater than (pause) 60 minutes.”

Making such dreaded phone calls has been part of farmers’ lives since we joined the EU (many people go to the Ploughing primarily to talk to someone in the Department face to face).

But it is clear that this “phone-hatching” (if you sit on it long enough, something useful might emerge) is becoming an accepted part of normal life.

It also seems obvious that it is getting worse (response times are getting longer).

Of course, it is possible to be doing other bits while you’re onhold but I’m petrified to carry the phone around in case I cut myself off or it gets answered when, say, I have stepped out to the loo.

A poll conducted in the UK last year found that the most-hated on-hold tune is James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful followed by Justin Bieber’s Baby, Psy’s Gangnam Style, Mozart’s Symphony No40 and the one that started it all off, Greensleeves.

I’m not saying that it’s simply a case of small private businesses being highly efficient and effective while public bodies and large companies are not, but I do think that the longer the chain between supplier and end-user, the greater the potential for loss of empathy and understanding.

What I’m also wondering is where this is all going.

These encounters are annoying, frustrating and disempowering, with a very real human cost in terms of stress and loss of productivity. In time to come, I expect these symptoms will be identified as some kind of ‘-ism’.

I think there is already the possibility of us seeing the following job ad: ‘Phone Sitter — no formal qualifications required other than patience and basic English.

‘Irregular hours but good working conditions and pay rates.’

Along with regular morning traffic reports of, “long delays on the M50 between Junction 9 and Junction 13,” maybe we will also get phone-traffic updates, along the lines of, “the expected response time this morning by Utility XXX is Y minutes”?

Or, perhaps, instead of music, these mega organisations should start playing languagelearning tapes?

It is estimated that a new language can be learned in as little as 480 hours.

Maybe I could be speaking Double Dutch by Christmas.

THESE PHONE ENCOUNTERS ARE ANNOYING, WITH A HUMAN COST IN TERMS OF STRESS AND LOSS OF PRODUCTIVITY