Bairbre Power

Present buying can be tricky, so think twice before getting your mother-in-law a box of anti-ageing face creams

By this point in my life, I’ve probably given, and received, everything you can possibly imagine at Christmas. And over the years I’ve learnt that the old cliche is true — it is ALL about the thought you put into the selection process and NOT about the amount you spend.

I remember waking up and almost catching Santa in action as he slipped a giant box under my bed and closed the door quietly. Frankly, the nine-year-old fashionista wasn’t too impressed with his choice of hooded Eskimo anorak that year but I did love all the arty stuff he brought, especially the spirograph which I’m delighted to see is making a comeback. I forecast it will be on a par with the mindfulness colouring books.

Tressy, the dress-up doll who had a ponytail that magically grew out of the top of her head was also a big success. She was a rival to the Barbie doll that I never liked, which is ironic because that’s how lots of people pronounce my Christian name.

My kids have given me plenty of festive shocks, like the request — on December 23 — for a Lego post office which, against the odds, was a huge hit and is the one toy I steadfastly refused to clear out of the house.

As for the Fisher-Price McDonald’s drivethru cafe I found on offer in Dunnes for €50 on Christmas Eve and which gave us so much pleasure over the years, we’ve often wondered if they still exist, complete with deep fat fryer sound effects.

I know all about Christmas Eve present-buying panic and I saw plenty of it over my teenage and student years when I worked in chemist shops. I will confess I sent some unfortunate panicked shoppers home with the big gift sets from the window after they rapped on the door at 6.10pm as we were all heading home.

When panic pals up with Christmas Eve guilt, often the only solution seems to be to go into show-off mode and flash the plastic. That’s always a mistake — is the consistent ‘show-off’ present giver really thinking about the recipient, or are they thinking about how to make themselves look good?

Are they more interested in the glory and spotlight that comes with the ‘big reveal’ under the tree, watched by all the relatives?

This temptation to go overboard might explain why so many people are shocked at the presents they end up with under the tree.

Last weekend, I was on my usual Saturday de-stressing promenade when I overheard guys talking about gift giving. “The handbag always goes down a treat with the girls and makes you look good,” announced a baritone with such confidence I just had to spin around to get a better look at him.

I was gobsmacked to discover three card-carrying hipsters. I couldn’t contain my nosiness and, wanting to hear more about their ‘men are from Mars, women are from Venus’ guide to buying pressies for the opposite sex, I edged closer to the gym buddies in shorts.

In fairness, they had quite a sensible approach and one chipped in how getting the bag personalised with initials had worked a treat with his second last girlfriend, but I did later wonder if this was a gift-giving habit which he rolled out for all the women who came into his life?

Present-buying can be tricky to get right — and it can sometimes go spectacularly wrong. Over the years, I’ve had a fair bit of success with my efforts to hunt down the unusual. As a student, I bought a boyfriend a pair of banjaxed deer antlers I spotted in an antique shop. They looked so sensational, I debated putting them at the top of the tree. His face said it all and I don’t think he was quite as thrilled as I was finding them. Let’s just say, the antlers didn’t last long on his walls and romance didn’t make it to the following Christmas.

Some of my better efforts have revolved around plants and music — the M&S box that gave birth to the most amazing four-sided amaryllis plant that aunts sent me pictures of for weeks and months afterwards; out-of-print books and a CD of the re-remastered Band On

The Run went down a treat.

I wish I could say the same for some of the aftershaves I’ve bought, which is why I always go back to Dior’s Eau Savage.

When it comes to buying beauty products, boys, I thoroughly recommend you look at the small print under those festive bows. Expensive face and body creams are great — a super idea — but for heaven’s sake, think twice before buying your motherin-law, or future mother-in-law a box of goodies recommended for “tired complexions” or that shouts anti-ageing.

Surprising your girlfriend or boyfriend with a gym membership might be perceived by sensitive souls as implied criticism or a comment on their weight, so tread carefully.

People can be so sensitive these days and present-giving has become so politically correct. Some people want ‘experiences’ over ‘stuff’ and genuine shoppers crave gift cards to finance their own splurge, but make sure to choose the right store or spa.

You really need to develop a filter to know the difference between what’s a general comment and what’s a full-on present hint. Just because she remarks on how handy that coffee thermos is, does not mean she wants one as her present.

Then there are the annoying big gestures all the neighbours get to see, like the new car with the red ribbon across the roof and bonnet. I once got a call enquiring if I had a garage at my house because the person calling needed somewhere to store a surprise car for his other half. Really?

Could they not have kept it on the garage forecourt or was the call an excuse to show off they had dosh?

Personalisation has become such a popular trend on the gifting scene. The only problem is, you can’t re-gift something with your initials on it. Luckily, I don’t have to re-gift. My family and friends know me only too well. I love books and fountain pens. Full stop.