A parent’s guide to the Eighth Amendment referendum
I am perplexed by the struggle people are having with talking to children about abortion and the referendum.
In my view, it is in the same category as how to answer their questions about God and Santa – keep as close to the truth as possible.
When my children were young, I would say some people believed in God but that some didn’t, and that nobody could ever be absolutely sure whether he existed.
When they asked me if I believed in God, I would say I wasn’t sure, but I believed in spirituality; and I would quickly move on to asking them what they thought, murmuring or nodding in interest however they replied.
With the abortion debate, children (who are asking) need to know this is a discussion for adults and they are not yet adults.
There are lots of things – becoming a soldier, drinking alcohol, driving a car – only adults are allowed to do.
If the questions were more probing and a child was old enough to understand, I would explain it in this way: When a woman is at the beginning of a pregnancy – in the first three months – the baby growing inside her cannot live in the world on its own.
It cannot breathe, its skin is so thin it can’t cope with the harsh air outside, and if it was born it would be blind and deaf and would die very quickly. It simply can’t live separated from its mum.
Then I would say that if a woman didn’t want to grow a baby inside her (this is called being pregnant) but it had accidentally happened, or she couldn’t stop it happening to her, then an abortion is the word we use to allow the woman to stop herself being pregnant. It meant the growing life inside her could be ended.
Some people believe a woman should never be allowed to do this (end her pregnancy). Ever.
Other people believe that a women should be allowed to do this (end her pregnancy) up until the baby was 12 weeks old.
After the 12 weeks, only in very special circumstances should she be allowed to end her pregnancy.
The laws had to be made very carefully to help doctors and pregnant women deal with all the complicated things that can happen to the woman and her baby while the baby is still tucked up inside her womb.
But you don’t need to worry. The adults are going to decide what is and what is not allowed to happen when a woman is growing a baby in her womb.
When you are old enough to be able to grow a baby yourself (if you are a girl), or when you are old enough to seed a baby yourself (if you are a boy), you will have your own opinion and you will be able to take part in the debate. Alison Hackett Dún Laoghaire, Dublin