Harris rebuke on Pence interruptions resonated with women everywhere
THOSE doing their Christmas shopping earlier this year might be pleased to know that they can now buy merchandise featuring the viral catchphrase from Wednesday’s vice-presidential debate.
“I’m speaking” – Kamala Harris’s firm response to Mike Pence’s interjections – now appears on T-shirts, hoodies and mugs.
There were several memorable moments as the two candidates went head-to-head, yet those two words cut through the noise and resonated with women everywhere.
By the end of the debate, ‘I’m speaking’ was trending on Twitter and saved for posterity in meme form.
Thousands of women took to social media to celebrate Ms Harris’s rebuke. They know what it’s like to be talked over during a meeting and they felt empowered by a woman who refused to back down.
They know what it’s like to wonder if the audio on Zoom is not working and they felt inspired by a woman who fought to have her voice heard.
Mr Pence’s repeated interruptions reminded them of their day-to-day experiences in the workplace. “This is every woman in a meeting ever,” said hundreds of women on Twitter, who were clearly used to being talked over by their male colleagues.
It’s worth noting that the phenomenon of men interrupting women was a talking point long before the vice-presidential debate. Several studies suggest that women are more likely to be interrupted than men, while women who interrupt are more likely to be viewed as rude and unfriendly.
The debate between Ms Harris and Mr Pence drew attention to the issue, but it also established a fairly straightforward solution: we can complain about being interrupted by men in the workplace, or we can set some boundaries, add some assertive phrases to our arsenal and make sure our point is heard.
Personally speaking, I don’t believe that men unnecessarily and unfairly interrupt women. However, I do believe that men have an invisible advantage in the workplace, and this advantage often comes to the fore in meetings.
Men are more likely than women to have competitive sports experience, thus they have more experience of being assertive in group situations and taking advantage of a defensive gap or a conversational pause.
In the world of dating, they are more likely to make the first move and, thus, deal with the fear of rejection.
Yes, things are changing rapidly, but for now at least, men simply have more experience of putting themselves forward and not backing down.
Women, on the other hand, have been taught not to interrupt.
Somewhere along the way, we got the memo that it’s impolite to talk over someone and downright rude to keep on talking when we’re interrupted.
That’s probably why Harris‘s “I’m speaking” reminders were wide-eyed and simpering.
She knows that female assertiveness can be perceived as aggressiveness, hence the Miss America smile.
Many of the women who took to social media yesterday morning felt like they were watching a masterclass on how to handle interruption.
Yet we should be careful about holding this up as a best-in-class example.
Harris’s fake smile was the equivalent of softening an assertive email with the word ‘just’ or ending a passiveaggressive email with ‘xxx’.
It might be an unpopular opinion, but I much preferred Mr Pence’s reply when Ms Harris interrupted him.
“If I may finish,” is less combative and more to the point (and it makes me feel like senior counsel whenever I have the gumption to say it).
Likewise, we should be careful about heralding this as a girl-power moment.
Ms Harris’s response may have encouraged thousands of women to find their voice, but she found her own voice a long time ago.
In the former prosecutor’s own words, she has taken on “everything from transnational criminal organisations to the big banks that were taking advantage of homeowners”.
She was never going to back down.
Perhaps the biggest takeaway from the vicepresidential debate is the importance of preparation.
Joe Biden’s “will you shut up, man?” marked a particularly low moment and it was clear that both candidates came armed with stock phrases to handle interruptions this time around.
They wrote the words down on paper, they said them out loud.
They probably mouthed them in the mirror before they went on stage. They thought long and hard about how they would deal with interruption and now, after Ms Harris’s performance, women all over the world are doing the very same.