Just popping down to the shops… and to taste the dizzying delights of the supermarket aisles
JUST to spice up my life today with a dash of clandestine adventure, I did half my shopping in Aldi and the other half in Lidl.
Yes, my search for thrills has come to this!
Both places had a rather Gilead feel to them, with many shelves empty and masked shoppers shuffling along silently to the dreadful Muzak.
I expected to see Aunt Lydia’s faded green uniform blending in with the fruit and veg and her glaring at me to return home without delay, no dallying or idle gossip in Terenure village.
When in need of a real treat though, a Saturday-night clubstyle experience, it has to be Supervalu over on Sundrive Road.
Its Muzak is so good that I am sure they must have a DJ spinning decks secretly in store!
The dizzy lights of their bountiful aisles, their seductive ‘2 for 1’ offers make every visit seem like the most subversive Masquerade Ball ever, more daring even than a Berlin techno dungeon club!
So transgressive, yet it still retains a sweetly dystopian touch of romance about it. I am reminded of Pulp’s Common People:
I took her to a supermarket I don’t know why
But I had to start it somewhere
So it started there
The epic walk to Dunnes Stores in Rathmines is more akin to going to a major festival event like the Electric Picnic, whereas visits to Tesco and Centra on the Lower Kimmage Road are much more low-key affairs like when once I used to go for a quiet one in my local.
Indeed the very friendly Mauritian in Centra usually says to me, “The usual, Billy? Amber Leaf and two Catch Bars?”
These days I find my fun in the strangest places!
Billy Ó Hanluain Kimmage, Dublin 12