For Halle Berry, menopause is ‘glorious’ —it can be for you too
Many women dread reaching the menopause or perimenopause stages of their lives, but for some it can be a positive and even liberating experience, writes Arlene Harris
During the summit ‘A Day of Unreasonable Conversation’, which took place on March 25 in LA, Oscar winner Halle Berry revealed that following “great sex”, she suffers a lot of pain. “I go to the bathroom, and guess what? I feel like I have razor blades in my vagina”, she said.
The 57-year-old actor was recounting one of the symptoms she has experienced during menopause, but went on to say that the menopausal years cannot “just be the doom and gloom story” as it is a “glorious time of life”.
“I am challenging everything I thought I knew about menopause,” Berry added. “Things like: ‘Your life is over.’ ‘You are disposable.’ Society no longer has a place for you.’ ‘You should retire.’ ‘You should pack it up.’”
The star went on to state that, on the contrary, she is now her “best self”.
Indeed, to try and redress the balance with negative menopause stories somewhat, we spoke to some women who say that this stage of life has been a positive experience for them so far.
Marie Nolan had been dreading reaching menopause as she had “heard so many horror stories” from social media and friends that she imagined herself “turning into an old crone overnight”, but she has been “pleasantly surprised” by the reality.
“It is great that we’re all talking about the menopause but it seems that it’s a bit like childbirth in that everyone wants to tell you the very worst aspects of it,” says the 52-year-old.
“My social media feeds were filled with women of my age talking about how they felt angry all the time, always boiling hot, gained loads of weight and experienced sleeplessness and pain. I was absolutely dreading it and had decided that I didn’t want to go on HRT as I had also heard so many negative things about that.
“But, I think I was quietly experiencing perimenopause for a while during my late 40s as my menstrual cycle became a bit irregular without me noticing. Then the periods got further apart and just stopped altogether.
“I did have a bit of overheating at night, but nothing major and had also been getting more frequent headaches. I was really reluctant to go on HRT, but my doctor encouraged me to try a low dose and I agreed but went a step further by cutting the 50mg patches in half so was having a really tiny amount of the medication.”
The Dublin woman says that this seemed to do the trick and not only did her headaches stop, but she has not had any other issues and in facts “feels more positive and motivated” than she has felt in a long time.
“I have been pleasantly surprised by how little I have been affected by the menopause,” she says. “I haven’t got the raging hot flushes or the rage that everyone keeps going on about. My sex life is just as good, if not better, than it was when I was younger and I have more time for myself these days as the kids have flown the nest so I am exercising regularly and making the effort to eat well. All in all, I would say that I am feeling more positive, healthy and motivated than I have felt for years — long may it continue.”
Transitioned
Yvonne Reddin has also been surprised by how smoothly she has transitioned to menopause. She experienced some symptoms initially, but says this could have been due to being a single parent to three children, two of whom were very young and keeping her up at night.
“I really couldn’t distinguish exactly when the symptoms began but perhaps that means they were quite mild,” says the 53-year-old. “I never had hot flushes or restless legs and when my twins were born, my son was 12 and I was parenting alone, so I suffered mentally and physically from exhaustion and my hormones were all over the place.
“The most noticeable symptom was mood swings, going from anger to tears and then to acceptance. Then when the twins [now aged 10] were older, I started walking every day and took up sea swimming, which really helped with staying focused.
“There is a history of breast cancer in my family which deterred me from trying HRT and although I saw the benefits my friends were experiencing while on it, I didn’t want to go there myself as I felt my symptoms were manageable.
“So combined with getting outdoors, I tried to eat healthily and I also learned to drive, which changed my life as I felt an tremendous freedom and got my spirit back.”
The journalist and travel writer says that rather than negatively impacting her life and career, she has flourished in the past few years.
“I started a copy writing business in 2020 as I felt that if I didn’t stop putting barriers up, it would never happen,” she says. “I had completed a journalism degree and two post grads and education really gave me my power, confidence and strength back. So I am now doing what I was meant to be doing, but just 20 years later.
“Sea swimming, writing and talking to my friends helped me get through the menopause, which I think of as ‘Mam-on-pause’ time — until you’re ready to get back out there again.”
Indeed, despite being through an horrendous time personally, fertility coach Helena Tubridy says she didn’t realise she was going through menopause for several months.
“My teenage daughter had died by suicide and I was grieving, so my sleep was all over the place,” she says. “I also had night sweats, and the brain fog was massive. Then it hit me that I hadn’t had a period for four months, so once I realised what was happening, I tuned into my physical and mental health needs.
“I used my own hypnotherapy to contain the hot flushes and after one self-hypnosis session, I went from six in one hour to four a day. Then I focussed on sleep, which is key to well-being and reducing brain fog. I stopped waking up with night sweats and found myself rising very early, which gave me the benefit of morning light which helped to reset my circadian rhythm on a daily basis.
“And, as eating well is my default anyway, I was lucky there that no changes were required there.
“The emotional side of moving from one stage of life was strangely interesting as it marked a devastating loss. So, I had to get on with learning to live this part of my life.”
The mother-of-two and grandmother-of-two says that she was also happy to see the back of PMS and heavy bleeding and feels that menopause has given her the freedom to be herself.
“One of the most liberating things has been embracing my natural hair colour, although my transition to silver shocked people,” she says. “I feel it symbolises my acceptance of myself and celebration of who I am. It has given me a renewed confidence, a joy in authenticity and it saves a fortune.
“Menopause has been a time of growth, learning and liberty. Yes, I had to navigate empty nest syndrome, but becoming a grandmother has been an absolute privilege and de
‘It is great that we’re all talking about the menopause but it seems that it’s a bit like childbirth in that everyone wants to tell you the very worst aspects of it’
light and I’m lucky to have some great friends.
“I think women need to mind and nurture friendships all through life, as it’s easy to get caught up on the hamster wheel of work and family. I took myself off to complete a master’s degree which consolidated all my life’s work in fertility healthcare — you can teach an old bitch new tricks after all — and my work with those facing fertility struggles, or healing after miscarriage and secondary infertility, is satisfying, rewarding and absorbing.”
The Meath woman says there is too much negativity surrounding menopause and its time that some of the myths were debunked.
Sense of fear
“There is such a tendency now for drama, and to focus more on the challenges of menopause, which can create an unnecessary sense of fear around this natural life transition,” she says.
“So, it’s important to shift the narrative towards a more balanced perspective, which also highlights the positive aspects and the opportunities it presents for personal growth and well-being.
“Emphasising the negative can overshadow the fact that many women find this to be a liberating time — free from the worries of periods or contraception, a time to refocus on their own health, interests, and relationships.
“So, for someone who’s dreading menopause, I’d say it’s completely normal to feel apprehensive about the unknown. But knowledge is empowering and can help ease many fears.
“Understanding the changes your body is going through and knowing that there are ways to manage symptoms can make a big difference in how you experience this phase. It’s also heartening to see a growing recognition of women’s needs during menopause, especially in the workplace.
“I would encourage women to reach out for support, whether it’s talking to a healthcare provider, joining a support group, or simply sharing experiences with friends.”
GP and menopause specialist Dr Caoimhe Hartley agrees and says there are lots of reasons to be positive during menopause.
“Although there are potentially many symptoms which affect us through the menopausal transition, there are also lots of solutions,” she says. “Interest in women’s health has been growing and we are seeing more and more research happening in this area of medicine.
“Menopause brings with it the end of periods, menstrual migraines and PMS which most women will welcome. There are also many women who traverse this hormonal change without experiencing symptoms which impact them.
“Many of my patients report feeling liberated at this time of their life, their children may be older and more independent, they may be at a point of stability, both financially and in their career and they no longer care as much about sweating the small stuff. I also think that menopause is a great time to pay more attention to long-term health and make lifestyle changes — and focusing on health, both physically and mentally, is always a positive thing.”