It’s not just Gen Z who are not answering our calls
How would you feel if someone, even an old friend, announced they were outside your door and had just stopped by for a chat?
More than half of young people dislike talking on phones and a quarter never take a call as the telecom regulator reports a collapse of almost 30pc in calls on Irish mobiles over their last year Anyone with teenage kids or work colleagues in their twenties knows this only too well: how many times have you thrown your eyes to heaven when trying to call the young person, only to hear it ring out? Normally, you fume, these young folks are glued to their phones “so why won’t they answer your call?”
According to the latest poll from the British price comparisons website Uswitch, the answer is that calls are tinged with “pressure”.
”Gen Z and younger millennials prefer lowpressure voice notes, which signal there is less urgency to respond,” say Uswitch.
As someone whose 20s are a distant memory, I can confirm that this behaviour is not limited to the young ones. Of all my friends, only two can be relied upon to answer an actual call I make randomly, without warning. Most of the rest let it ring out and wait for me to text. Or they’ll answer back with a WhatsApp voice note some time later.
I’ve never specifically asked any of them why they do this. But I think I know what the two most common reasons are. And both adhere to the “pressure” theory.
The first is time pressure. Often, a call from a friend or family member comes when you’re in the middle of something else. It can be more awkward and disruptive to explain that than to simply let the call go and call back later with an apology and a good chat.
This is especially the case with a friend or family member who is likely to need quality time on the call. The rationale, therefore, for not answering is that you can give a lot more of yourself to them when you’re free of the thing you’re currently mired in.
But the bigger reason is general social pressure. In a world of texts and WhatsApps, a phone call is now seen as a more energysapping, high-pressure thing to do.
SOCIAL ANGST
This might sound a little snowflakey, I know. But think for a second about how you’d feel if someone, even an old friend, announced they were outside your door and had just stopped by for a chat. Part of you would be happy and interested, for sure. But another part might be irked or tinged with social angst. Physical interactions usually require a lot more energy than non-physical ones. The same might be said for phone calls when compared to texts.
So being asked to take a voice call, “being summonsed to your phone to perform verbally”, may feel like you’re being asked for a higher level of composure, performance and personal adjustment.
This is especially the case for people who struggle with anxiety or other mental challenges. Facing an unexpected call, even when it’s from a cherished friend, can be a big ask.
In my experience, they often don’t feel up to it. They feel pressure. It’s not a verdict on your value to them, just their struggle to socially meet you. I know that this affects at least one or two people I care about.
For these people, WhatsApps and social media direct messages are a godsend, a substitute (however imperfect) for their terror and anxiety at forcing a normal voice on a call or risking the label of being a bad friend.
At this point, dear reader, I can hear some of you sighing out loud. And yes, I know we all coped in the past with calls. I know that when the phone rang in 1989 or in 2003 or in 2011, you answered it.
But we’re in a different era now. We have never-ending contacts and messages and likes and comments and reposts and WhatsApp notifications from friends and acquaintances. It’s not as big a deal, in any sense, for your phone to actually physically ring.
Is there a case to be made for human voice interaction with each other on phones? Of course. But with so much else now in our busy lives, we’ve now also to accept a readjustment to those communication levels.
This is why, other than when it’s from a parent, spouse or significant other, the chance of you getting into trouble for not taking a call are increasingly less and less likely with each passing year.
So get used to people not answering your calls.