Why I’m in today’s run for our lives
Memories of my Steve will get me to finish line
FATHER-OF-FOUR Steve Parker, from Brentwood, Essex, was just 46 when he died in 2013, a year after being diagnosed with prostate cancer. Here his widow, payroll manager Laurie, 36, who is running the London Marathon in aid of Prostate Cancer UK, tells of their shock... WHEN Steve complained of a bad back in April 2012, we assumed he’d just put it out working as a mechanic on his parents’ farm.
He did a lot of lifting so it wasn’t unusual. But it got so bad he became virtually bedridden, so we went to our GP.
I don’t know what made the GP do a PSA blood test, which can detect early signs of the disease – perhaps it came up in conversation that Steve’s father, Keith, had been living with prostate cancer for 10 years.
Steve’s PSA level was really high. He was referred to Broomfield Hospital in Chelmsford which found his prostate was enlarged. A biopsy revealed prostate cancer. It was such a shock. But looking back, he’d been getting up in the night to go to the loo and a few times he said he felt like he had a water infection – classic symptoms.
A scan showed cancer in his bones. It didn’t feel real. I could hear what the doctor was saying but I wasn’t taking it in.
We decided not to tell our daughters Abby, now 14, and Lucy, now 11, that day.
But when we found out Steve would have chemotherapy and might lose his hair, we sat the girls down. I said: ‘Daddy had some tests, which showed he has prostate cancer like your grandad.’ Steve – who also has daughters Laura, 26, and Brooke, 21 – took part in a medical trial called Stampede, a combination of bone-strengthening drugs and chemotherapy. Before he started, we went on holiday to Turkey and he went to the barbers and shaved his head. Steve had a tan and we were laughing because his head was white, like a swimming cap. Steve started the trial in
Icount myself lucky to be alive – which is why I’m running/hobbling around the London Marathon course today for Prostate Cancer UK.
I was only 52 when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer after needing medical tests following – of all things – a sting by a scorpion while on holiday. So I’ll be pounding the streets to raise funds for the charity.
Like most men, I only had a vague idea of where my prostate was before the cancer was discovered. And that’s why Prostate Cancer UK is urging men to be aware of the danger signs and think about getting a prostate specific antigen (PSA) test if you’re over 50.
The usual symptoms are: Needing to urinate more often, especially at night; having to rush to the toilet; weak flow; difficulty in starting to pee, straining and August 2012 and didn’t suffer with the chemo side-effects.
We knew his cancer wasn’t curable because it had spread to his bones. But they never told us how long he had.
And the whole time he was on chemo, his PSA level stayed low and his back pain seemed to stop, so he went back to work.
He finished after six months but by January 2013, his PSA levels rose. The cancer was taking over his body.
It was a living nightmare and that part of my life is a blur. Steve must have been in pain, but you’d never find him feeling sorry for himself. He started taking a long time to pee, and feeling your bladder hasn’t emptied fully.
I didn’t have any symptoms and that’s not uncommon. But over a few years my PSA reading had risen gradually palliative radiotherapy for the pain as an out-patient at Colchester Hospital but had to be admitted after a bad reaction to the morphine.
But Steve amazed me how he just kept going. Even when staff from St Francis Hospice, in Romford, visited in July to talk about pain control, Steve was on his forklift as they pulled up.
He went into the hospice for what we thought would be just a few days. But after two weeks he asked a doctor: ‘Is this it?’ and was told yes. He died a fortnight later, on August 25.
Telling the girls Daddy has gone is the hardest thing I’ve had to do. Steve was so fit. He and that was a useful warning sign. The test is not an entirely accurate cancer indicator. Though in my case it was a life saver as my PSA was above the norm.
I quickly saw a urologist and – to cut a marathon story short – opted for a radical prostatectomy which meant the removal of my walnutsized prostate.
Today, some two-andhalf years later, I’m running the London Marathon. Prostate cancer currently kills nearly 11,000 men a year and the charity warns that this number could surge to 15,000 a year by 2026.
Black men are particularly vulnerable to prostate cancer, with one in four likely to get the disease compared with one in eight white men.
Prostate Cancer UK is working hard to improve the PSA test so more men can be diagnosed earlier.
Treatments are improving all the time – and hopefully prostate cancer will in future stop being a killer. was into motor racing and was a team mechanic.
At his funeral, his dad said he could repair anything but the one thing he couldn’t fix was his body.
I’ve raised around £25,000 for the amazing hospice that cared for Steve but I’ve chosen to support Prostate Cancer UK for the London Marathon to raise awareness of this cruel disease.
It is my first marathon and will be my last. Thinking of all the memories Steve and I shared over 16 years will get me over the finish line.
If you’d like to donate, go to uk.virginmoneygiving.com/ Laurieparker