Gaming turned my son into a monster
Mum Natalie tells how a digital addiction devastated her family and left her young son in turmoil.
It was a Saturday morning in August when I realised there was something seriously wrong with my 14-year-old son, Matthew.
It didn’t happen in the way all mothers worry it will. There was no call from the headmaster or tell-tale whiff of smoke or alcohol on his breath.
The meningitis rash I’d watched out for like a hawk was nowhere to be seen.
But he was suffering in a way I would once have scoffed at and called a “fake” illness. He had an addiction to technology which would tear our family apart.
It was three weeks into the school summer holidays and his sisters, aged eight and nine, had been out playing with friends in our Gloucestershire village almost every day.
At first I had told myself the fact Matthew had barely left his room – let alone the house – since school broke up was to do with hormones and him becoming a teenager.
But as I entered his room to find him slumped in the same clothes he had been wearing the day before, curtains closed, asleep on a bean bag with the controller to his Playstation console still in his hand, I knew there was a problem.
And his reaction when I told him I was taking the computer away for a few days was the clincher. Rising to his feet, he roared that I would never take the console from him, before telling me he wished I would die and launching the controller at the side of my head. I was in shock. The little boy I had raised seemed overnight to have turned into a monster. But as he towered over me without remorse as a trickle of blood streamed down my face, I realised this wasn’t teenage behaviour on a “Kevin and Perry” scale. For weeks Matthew had been withdrawn, quiet, barely eating and seemingly anxious in the company of other people. All he seemed to want to do was play his computer games. If it wasn’t Playstation it was on the smartphone he got for his 14th birthday or even on the family ipad. I’d always had a rule about how long he could stay up playing for but, as it was the holidays, I had been much more relaxed. But in a matter of weeks he had spiralled completely out of control. When my husband returned from work he insisted we all sit down with Matthew to discuss why he’d had such a violent reaction. The more we tried to discuss what had happened, the more Matthew clammed up. We removed all the devices from his room and banned him from the family computer by way of punishment. But as I tried to get him to enjoy other things in life I realised the psychological impact gaming for six hours a day had taken. He couldn’t look anyone in the eye and when outside would look at the floor permanently. He’d fidget constantly and kept asking for his computer back, lashing out without warning when we said no. I went on the internet and found a local addiction counselling service. I felt silly telling them the problem – I imagined most teenagers would be referred for drug and alcohol addiction. But the psychotherapist said the number of kids using alcohol and drugs is at its lowest since the ’90s but tech addiction is rising. Matthew had eight sessions of cognitive behavioural therapy before we gradually reintroduced his devices. But he isn’t allowed to have them in his room at night and we limit him to playing one hour a day. Our relationship is much better than a year ago but I don’t think either of us will forget that awful day. I just hope others reading this will realise the dangers of tech addiction. GEMMA ALDRIDGE Studies have yet to establish exactly how gaming addiction can affect an individual but psychiatrist and technology addiction expert Dr Richard Graham has said that devices such as tablets could prevent young people from forming normal social relationships.
He said: “Children have access to the internet almost from birth now. They see parents playing on their mobile devices and they want to play too.
“But children can’t cope and become addicted, reacting with tantrums and uncontrollable behaviour when their devices are taken away.
“Then as they grow older, the problem only gets worse. Even the most shy kids, when they hit their teens, suddenly want to become sociable and popular.
“Sometimes I think advice on internet use should be part of antenatal classes.”
‘He hurled controller at me when I said I’d take computer’