MY PERFECT SUNDAY

I’d wake up fairly early. You resist an early rise for so long then you suddenly hit 30 and start to embrace it.

My dad used to say “wake up early and make the most out of your day” and I wanted to punch him. Now I’ve started saying it and I want to punch myself.

Then I’d head to the gym with friends in Peckham. They’re all strong and help me lift all the big stuff.

If there was ever a fight they would face up to the aggressor while I stood at the back waving my fist adding ‘yeah!’.

I tend to treat myself to a roast dinner. The best bit is the final forkful. There’s tiny bits of everything that was on the plate in one delicious mouthful, all covered in gravy.

It’s like a good film, book or the juice at the bottom of a Calippo lolly – the best bit is at the end. This also applies to my stand up show.

In the evening I’d go to a gig. It’s my job but I love it.