Why can’t my lover commit to me?

to spend a lot longer making up our minds. This is potentially a good thing if it means that relationships stand a better chance of survival.

But it can create other problems, particularly for the women who feel their body clock ticking away.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, has no need to worry about any of this.

It sounds as though he’s living a wonderful bachelor life, seeing you when he wants, and still answerable only to himself. You have to make him understand that you need more, and that it is not an unreasonable request. It’s entirely normal and natural. How much longer are you going to be fobbed off whenever you want to talk about it?

Either you are important enough in his life for him to take your needs into account, or he must unselfishly let you get on with finding a man who shares your aspirations. So yes, set a deadline – but for yourself, not for him or he’ll just put it off.

You can tell him that if he won’t talk, you won’t just idly stay on standby. Whatever you think reasonable, six months, another year?

And make sure that by then you have had that conversation with him. Decide what your priorities are and don’t compromise them. Your future is in no one’s hands but your own.

Set a deadline for yourself – not for him or he’ll just put it off – to talk about your life priorities