Unhappy Valentine
Sara with Maia Dunphy
The uncoupling guru, who went through a painful marriage split after she caught her husband cheating, said February 14 throws relationships under the spotlight.
She added: “People think, ‘Oh I’m going to have to tell them I love them,’ and they baulk at the prospect.
“The focus is all on the relationship, the present, going out for dinner, are they going to propose?
“It’s always that bit harder being dumped a week before what is considered the most romantic day of the year. People feel even worse when they see others all loved up.
“A break-up is the second most traumatic experience you will go through in your life after the death of a loved one and we’ve all been there.
“But there are things you can do to cope with it as best you can. Breaking up can be a golden opportunity to redesign your life the way you want it.
“You can be happy, feel confident and have other relationships in the future.”
Here Sara shares her top 10 tips for surviving a split... Some people feel they are standing at the bottom of a huge mountain and have to climb it in one leap. There may be lots of changes and adjustments happening but it’s important to take each day as it comes. Take small steps and don’t put pressure Don’t be afraid to cry on yourself to solve all the issues today. This can include legal and also financial advisers, an exercise buddy and a therapist or coach. Think carefully about the friends and family you confide in and make sure they have your best interests at heart. Avoid negative people who sap your energy as much as possible. If you are worried about being on your own in the evenings Avoid questions such as, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ or, ‘What did I do wrong?’ Instead ask yourself more positively focused questions such as, ‘What can I do right now to help me through this?’ It’s important to have some fun in your life, even when you feel low and sad. Plan things you enjoy. Write a list of the things you weren’t happy with in your relationship. If you are heartbroken and finding it hard to let go this is a great exercise. When we reminisce about partners it’s easy to focus on the good bits – but this will keep you stuck in the past.
A break-up may be the end of a relationship but it is also the start of a new phase in your life. Ask how you want your life to be moving forward and get planning a future that excites you. Sara Davison (www. saradavison.com) is the bestselling author of Uncoupling and creator of Break-up Recovery Retreats. She offers advice to four heartbroken Irish singletons in TV3’S Heartbreak Hotel which airs on Wednesday at 9pm. news@irishmirror.ie Record your feelings Join a club or gym
Breaking up can turn out to be a golden opportunity to redesign your life the way you want it Try and avoid negative people who will sap your energy as much as possible
Balloon sellers