Bet 5/4 (888sport) ‘anytime scorer’ Andre Silva, for Sevilla against Villarreal (9.15pm). He’s the new Ronaldo, it says here. COTTAGE PIE IN THE SKY IS A 55/1 TREAT

Contains mild peril only

UNDER normal circumstances you’d fancy punting Burnley to rattle a youngish Fulham side (4pm) at the prices – but there’s a Europa spanner in the works. The Clarets were getting rolled over in Greece on Thursday night, which is probably less fun than it sounds.

Home defeat for Burnley by Watford last Sunday hinted at a slowness out of the traps, post-europa.

Ryan Sessegnon will be licking his lips. But with a low total-goals forecast, my gut says the 9/4 ‘anytime’ about the Fulham superteen is too short. My gut also reminds me that I’ve got hernias older than him.

I’ll probably pop out for the DRAW at 12/5, and hope lightning strikes twice for James Tarkowski (right) ‘first scorer’ at 55/1 (Betvic). NOT even the Sussex police could describe Christian Benteke as a dangerous offensive weapon.

If you think 5/2 ‘anytime scorer’ about this largely harmless Belgian (left) is a reasonable price when Crystal Palace go to Watford (1.30pm), please stay exactly where you are, and matron will come and collect you.

The 21/20 (Betvictor) about NO ‘both teams score’ looks more like the right medicine to me.