White­hall tells all on sin­gle life and hope­less sex

Irish Sunday Mirror - - NEWS -

But the Brit in­sisted he was “sin­gle” on Fri­day night. He then cracked a batch of rather in­dis­creet jokes about his ex Gemma Chan be­fore re­veal­ing they split be­cause she “wanted kids” – and the sex was bad.

Jack, 30, even found time to have a sly dig at Prince Charles.

He took to the stage at vet­eran comic haunt Hol­ly­wood Im­prov in LA and told the crowd: “I’ve had a lot of changes in my life re­cently. I’m sin­gle now.

“I was in a re­la­tion­ship, it was not gonna work, it was a long-dis­tance re­la­tion­ship, not ge­o­graph­i­cally, just in terms of ex­pec­ta­tions.

“She wanted kids whereas I wanted to es­cape. I’m not good with kids.” Jack, who ear­lier on in the night had ap­peared on James Cor­den’s The Late Late Show, said they had an “am­i­ca­ble split” but ended it due to “bad sex”. He said: “I hold my hand up, I let the spark go. The sex wasn’t great, that’s my fault. I’m not good at sex. “I’m too British. Sex with me is like ar­riv­ing late at the the­atre and try­ing to find your seat. “A lot of shuf­fling and then from some­where in the dark a whis­per, ‘I’m sorry’.” Talk­ing about their split, he added: “You want to hate the per­son, that is a healthy way to end a re­la­tion­ship. “The one ad­van­tage at hav­ing tragedy is you get ma­te­rial out of it. And she couldn’t even do that. “No one has ever writ­ten an al­bum about a won­der­ful break up where ev­ery­one be­haved im­pec­ca­bly. “I wanted her tram­pling my heart into the floor. She took my mum for tea to help my mum tran­si­tion through the split. F*** you with your gen­eros­ity.” Jack and ac­tress Gemma dated for six years un­til split­ting in De­cem­ber. He said Gemma, 35, farted in front of him as they con­tin­ued to live with each for six months after they split. “She was try­ing to help me ac­cli­ma­tise to our life as friends, so she farted in front of me. I re­acted as though she’d punched me in the face.” I won­der what Kate – who is 15 years his se­nior – will think about him do­ing a Tay­lor Swift and us­ing his re­la­tion­ships for cre­ative in­spi­ra­tion. Prob­a­bly as much as Prince Charles will cringe at this. Jack ex­plained how he was booked to per­form at Kens­ing­ton Palace one year, de­scrib­ing it “as the weird­est gig of my life”. He de­scribed Prince Charles, 70 next week, “as the most fa­mous un­em­ployed man on the planet” and mused on how he they could in­ter­act. “‘Hey mate, what do you do?’ ‘I’m just sit­ting around wait­ing for my mother to die’.” Keep up the ac­cu­rate ob­ser­va­tions, Jack. With ex-girl­friend Gemma

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