Whitehall tells all on single life and hopeless sex
But the Brit insisted he was “single” on Friday night. He then cracked a batch of rather indiscreet jokes about his ex Gemma Chan before revealing they split because she “wanted kids” – and the sex was bad.
Jack, 30, even found time to have a sly dig at Prince Charles.
He took to the stage at veteran comic haunt Hollywood Improv in LA and told the crowd: “I’ve had a lot of changes in my life recently. I’m single now.
“I was in a relationship, it was not gonna work, it was a long-distance relationship, not geographically, just in terms of expectations.
“She wanted kids whereas I wanted to escape. I’m not good with kids.” Jack, who earlier on in the night had appeared on James Corden’s The Late Late Show, said they had an “amicable split” but ended it due to “bad sex”. He said: “I hold my hand up, I let the spark go. The sex wasn’t great, that’s my fault. I’m not good at sex. “I’m too British. Sex with me is like arriving late at the theatre and trying to find your seat. “A lot of shuffling and then from somewhere in the dark a whisper, ‘I’m sorry’.” Talking about their split, he added: “You want to hate the person, that is a healthy way to end a relationship. “The one advantage at having tragedy is you get material out of it. And she couldn’t even do that. “No one has ever written an album about a wonderful break up where everyone behaved impeccably. “I wanted her trampling my heart into the floor. She took my mum for tea to help my mum transition through the split. F*** you with your generosity.” Jack and actress Gemma dated for six years until splitting in December. He said Gemma, 35, farted in front of him as they continued to live with each for six months after they split. “She was trying to help me acclimatise to our life as friends, so she farted in front of me. I reacted as though she’d punched me in the face.” I wonder what Kate – who is 15 years his senior – will think about him doing a Taylor Swift and using his relationships for creative inspiration. Probably as much as Prince Charles will cringe at this. Jack explained how he was booked to perform at Kensington Palace one year, describing it “as the weirdest gig of my life”. He described Prince Charles, 70 next week, “as the most famous unemployed man on the planet” and mused on how he they could interact. “‘Hey mate, what do you do?’ ‘I’m just sitting around waiting for my mother to die’.” Keep up the accurate observations, Jack. With ex-girlfriend Gemma