Cards in the post, Rafa

BET there’s plenty of dingdong when Wolves go to Newcastle (4pm), but not much merrily-on-high.

Neutrals might view the final whistle as a Christmas miracle.

As usual Toon fans will just be hoping Santa brings a new owner.

Zero-hours billionaire Mike Ashley’s been bunging up the St James’ Park chimney so long they can’t remember what a mince pie looks like, let alone a meaningful transfer budget.

As it stands Rafa Benitez (above) must try to rustle up a festive football feast using just his raw cunning, his years of experience and a piece of cardboard cut into the shape of a turkey, with the word ‘yum’ written on it.

Matt Doherty’s tasty ‘anytime scorer’ to add set-piece trimmings for Wolves at 11/1 (Bet365).

With Mike Dean on the whistle, try a pair of fun ‘shown a card’ bets too – 11/5 Ruben Neves and 7/2 Matt Ritchie (Unibet) can mark their return from bans by getting straight back on that horse. Last week: Winner at 10/11