Weak of body & mind... and not fit to wear the shirt
IF the new sickly strip was supposed to make Manchester United’s hugely overrated players seem invisible against the grass, it did the trick. They went missing all right. From back to front, from David de Gea to Cristiano Ronaldo, from Harry Maguire to Marcus Rashford, they all went missing.
Even taking into account all the troubles since the great man’s retirement, it is still impossible to recall a United team of the post-ferguson era this WEAK.
Weak of body, weak of mind, just plain weak, an
embarrassment to the club’s name, a soft touch for all and sundry.
After a United match, it has now become the norm to remind yourself to give due credit to the victors and Thomas Frank’s side were ruthless, well-organised and
took their opportunities with eye-catching coolness. They were men against boys. But United’s awfulness towers above every other significant Premier League subject right now. It is so jawdropping, it is fascinating.
In his two Premier League matches, Erik ten Hag has given them an almighty shove down the slippery slope they were already on.
Yes, it is ridiculously early in his tenure to be making any solid judgements, but there is no hiding the new manager’s culpability.
For example, he watched Maguire from afar last season and from close up last Sunday and still believes he is a defensive colossus.
He knows Rashford’s form has been in a 12-month tailspin but still says he has complete faith in him.
He has allowed Ronaldo to be a petulant distraction. And quite what he has been doing on the United training ground is anyone’s guess if the disorganisation of the first two games is anything to go by.
In mitigation, Ten Hag can do little about his players’ tendency to commit the most basic of mistakes.
And they do not come any more basic than the De Gea error that gifted Brentford and Josh Dasilva the opening goal.
As the old saying goes, the shot was so weak, the keeper could have thrown his cap on it – had he been wearing one.
Instead, De Gea dropped down in instalments and allowed Dasilva’s daisy-cutter to
smuggle itself across the line. De Gea has maintained his No.1 spot for one reason, albeit a very good one – he is normally an excellent shot-stopper.
But in this age it is becoming unusual for an elite goalkeeper not to be at least semiaccomplished with his feet.
And if Ten Hag wants his keeper to play out from the back, he has to change his keeper. Simple as that.
De Gea did not misplace the pass that presented Brentford with a second visit to the goal buffet, but it was simply ludicrous to play it to a well-marked Christian Eriksen.
Mathias Jensen duly
dispossessed the hapless Dane and rolled in No.2.
But never mind De Gea, this is a defence that is not even close to being fit for purpose.
How can it be when its leader, captain Maguire, is in a seemingly interminable run of abysmal form?
His new partner, Lisandro Martinez, looks at him with utter bewilderment and no wonder the Argentine lost his bearings during yet more calamitous defending for Brentford’s third, bundled in by Ben Mee, of all people.
The defending for the fourth goal was also poor, but better to highlight the brilliance of Ivan
Toney’s first-time pass and Bryan Mbeumo’s strength and composure that saw him shrug off Luke Shaw and easily beat De Gea.
But, in truth, Brentford did not have to be at their best to batter this broken United team.
And next up for Ten Hag is a home match against Liverpool, which some fans are threatening to boycott.
And, considering the players have boycotted the first two, who could blame them?
“You’re not fit to wear the shirt”, sang a section of the away support. On this occasion, no right-minded judge would have disagreed.