Candid Kellie recalls losses
Kearney still frustrated by those missed opportunities
WHEN IT comes to sport, the search for answers isn’t an exact science. So many variables go into a team performance that ascertaining which had the biggest impact on failure is, more often than not, futile.
That hasn’t stopped Kellie Kearney pondering. And she has been pondering for a while.
As a writer, you never really know what you are going to get when you sit down and listen to a sportsperson speak. One can guide the conversation with questions, but that doesn’t mean you will get the answer you expect.
This writer was lucky enough to speak to Kellie for an hour last week. The aim was to talk about her inter-county career over the last ten years, but most of the conversation drifted back to a string of five All-Ireland quarter-final defeats in a row.
The focus on successes came and went quickly. The losses sting, probably more so given the collapse of the squad this season.
The first of those last eight defeats was against Kildare in 2015, the only one in which Wexford were never really in the game. Sligo was a huge disappointment twelve months later, before Tipperary needed extra-time to see off Kearney and her team-mates in 2017.
Tyrone knocked Wexford out on their way to All-Ireland glory in 2018 before the sheen of a Leinster title was wiped right off with a soul-crushing defeat to Meath at the tail end of last year. It seems to be that one that really slices Kearney hard.
‘I don’t know if that’s ’cause we are peaking too soon, or because when we go into the next big game, I don’t know if our homework’s not done,’ Kellie said. ‘I do think you learn so much more from losing then you are ever going to learn from winning.
‘When you’re playing someone for that amount of years, you’d be thinking about them more than us. For the Leinster final we actually just said it to Anthony, “stop f...ing thinking about them, think about ourselves and we will do this”.
‘It was probably the one time that we literally did forget about the opposition and did just think about us and focus on us, what we were going to do and how we were going to put our gameplan to them.
‘We were in the winning mentality there, we enjoyed it obviously at the time but we didn’t learn enough, looking back, we didn’t learn enough from it, to push past them again.
‘You know, it’s easy to say when you’re after beating them, it’s easy to say, “oh, they’re not going to give it to us handy the next time”, and I know we all know that deep down, but what did we do? Looking back, what did we do to try to change that?’
For Kearney, the yearning for victory was obvious but her experience left her wondering if it was the same for everyone. She wondered if there was a fundamental difference between her generation and those arriving on the scene now.
‘Losing the All-Ireland final [in 2013], my life was football, that would have killed me. Whereas I don’t think it’s like that any more, times are changing. I’m not saying that none of them care, but I do think there is a massive change.
‘I don’t know if it’s their attitude. I’ll use this as an example, losing to Meath last year, in the All-Ireland quarter final, if you take the older people including me and Clara [Donnelly], we were probably like crying on the bus on the way home whereas the young ones just wanted to go to the pub and drink.
‘That’s not [me] being smart. That could be a build-up of playing for so many years and not f...ing getting there again. You are playing for whatever amount of years, you do play for the enjoyment of it, but it does get to a stage with county that you are after giving so much commitment and putting in so many years, you are literally like, this is my last year to win.
‘You are still enjoying it but you want to win, I don’t know if that’s just getting older, or whatever, I know it’s easy to say each time [that] you want to win but I don’t think you appreciate it and never appreciate winning ’til you start losing.’
The hunger for victory was clear to see for Kearney, not only in her words but her actions. She badly injured her foot for her club, Shelmalier, in the weeks leading up to the All-Ireland quarter-final, but nothing was going to keep her off the field.
‘I know myself, I probably shouldn’t have played that match but I’m competitive, regardless if I had a broken foot or not. I was probably selfish in a way because I really felt like it was our year last year.
‘So for me to play with a broken foot was no question, like I obviously shouldn’t have played, I shouldn’t have togged out and I should have given someone else an opportunity, but like for me that was our year.
‘When I did that to my foot, it was a week before that we were going out to play an All-Ireland quarter-final but, like, there was no question in my mind that I was going to play if Anthony [Masterson] and all let me play, there was no question.
‘Obviously, I didn’t go for a scan and all because then it would have been in black and white, so for me to do that, I have the passion to do it.
‘That’s the way that I grew up, like, I will not miss a match, literally I would play with my leg falling off.
‘I would do anything to be put on a pitch for a big game whereas I feel like, even for some of the younger ones coming up, and this is only what I can see even in relation to training and stuff, they have injuries way quicker and way easier.
‘If I had a pain in my hamstring I’d push through it to get through the training. Their mentality is like, “oh, I have a pain in my toe so I won’t train”.’
Kearney has clearly come a long way from making her debut against Offaly in 2011 to the most senior of Wexford players now. Back then she was coming off an All-Ireland Minor ‘B’ win and things continued to be bright as the early seasons came and went.
Her Shelmalier side were at the forefront of Leinster football. They were provincial champions after beating Foxrock in the 2012 decider when she was thrown into the deep, appointed Wexford captain for the 2013 season.
‘I remember thinking to myself, “what the f...”, not in a bad way, but I remember thinking how am I going to do this [but] obviously say nothing, sort of thing. I would have been really quiet [then]. I was on the county team from when I was 16,’ Kellie recalled.
‘I would have had the likes of Rosie Lawlor, Cat McCabe, Mary Rose [Kelly], I would have had the benefit of their experience to look up to, so I didn’t feel any pressure being captain because they were always there for us.’
While that season ended with Kearney leading Wexford out onto the Croke Park field, they were underdogs against Offaly and ended up losing. The following season they did make the leap, beating New York to gain promotion to the Intermediate ranks.
‘It’s mental, you’re warming up in a little astroturf area at the back of the dressing-room, which is literally a tiny area,’ she remembered. ‘Like, the whole experience was mental but it is what you dreamed it to be.
‘Obviously, I was down and upset I wasn’t starting but I was so proud of the girls to get back there again, I was never angry.
‘I didn’t look down on a manager, saying why am I not starting, I would have been so proud of the girls and when we won it was just a relief to win, we always knew we shouldn’t have been Junior.’
They had to keep their momentum going into 2015 but had a change of management, with Shane McCormack coming in to replace Billy Donnelly. Kearney’s personal development as a footballer can be linked to this spell, as she slowly turned herself into Wexford’s shining light.
Kellie is keen to point out that she doesn’t believe McCormack got the credit he deserved for the development of the side.
While trophies eluded Wexford in those seasons, Kearney believes they were a key stepping stone to what followed.
‘I don’t think his work was praised enough actually after winning to build us,’ she said.
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