Sinead Culbert

Comedian & DirtBirds star

What type of student were you?

I was a class clown with an acute fear of exams and of my parents so I told jokes at school and studied at home.

What were your teachers like?

A lot of my teachers didn’t feel too much pressure to actually teach. I had one History teacher who played her guitar at the top of the class for the whole year. As a result, I am really crap at Irish history, but I know all the lyrics to every Beatles song ever written – it’s on my CV! Teachers had stopped using corporal punishment at schools at that time, but there was definitely death by boredom. My Irish teacher tried her best but despite all her hard work the oral Irish examiner still thought I was speaking Swahili.

Did you easily make friends?

I was very lucky to be put in a class with lots of smart, kind and totally unhinged girls who I’m still friends with today. I went to an all-girls school so much of our time was spent trying to access the all-boys school next door. I don’t go to school reunions. Not because I don’t like the people, but because I’m in total denial about my age. In my head I’m still 17.

Is there a memory that stands out from your time in school?

Our vice-principal at the time was a very short lady. In fact, she was so short in stature you couldn’t actually see her over the steering wheel when she was driving her car. This came in very useful for her when she was driving around the town at lunchtime to see which girls were “misbehaving”. We called it the ghost car. One lunch time I escaped up the town and was stuffing my face with chips, smoking cigarettes and snogging boys – not all at the same time. The ghost car drove by. Despite jumping into a nearby hedge and lying quietly covered in curry chips, the ghost car returned. It parked beside the hedge. After an hour of trying not to move as wild birds pecked at my onion rings, and that isn’t a euphemism, I eventually rolled out from underneath the hedge and surrendered. I was driven back to school by the ghost car and was suspended.

Did you find school useful for your adult life?

I found exams extremely stressful.

Panic attacks, stress eating, acute acne, rosacea and complete loss of personality were just a few of the wonderful symptoms I experienced. Despite this trauma, I still made the decision to go on to third level and do another four years. Even though it was stressful at times I actually loved school and found a lot of it was useful. However, our educational system could be so much more effective. I think project-based work is the way to go and making the curriculum relevant to our young people’s lives. If young people know why they are learning something they’ll engage much more.