Chasing their dreams

Travel expert turned candlemaker, and owner of Senses by Ró Mental health nurse turned circus performer

Job unhappiness is at an all-time high. Many people feel trapped because of financial commitments or having invested in a career they now feel “stuck” in. Here, RSVP meets three women who reevaluated their life and career to follow their passion, completely transforming their own health and happiness in the process

Time waits for no-one which is why we shouldn’t hold off until a time in the future to be happy. Now is the time. When looking back on life, experts say it’s the chances you didn’t take that you’ll regret.

A survey by Matrix Recruitment revealed that 55% of all Irish workers reported to being unhappy in their jobs in 2022 – an increase in 12% on the previous year. Two-thirds of those surveyed (65%) said they regretted not chasing their dream job while 48% felt stuck in a rut.

According to Dr Paddy Barrett, preventative cardiologist at Blackrock Clinic, the number one regret people have when they’re dying is that they didn’t have the courage to live the life they knew they should have. Speaking to Brendan O’Connor on RTÉ Radio 1, he said, “We get distracted thinking we have infinite time, as Budda says the problem is you think you have time and you don’t.”

To change career paths at any stage in life takes a lot of hard work, sacrifice and commitment, especially after establishing yourself in a particular profession. Here, we meet three inspiring women who followed their dreams and subsequently turned their lives around for the better.

Mandalei Kuhn

A former corporate lawyer who is now a cacao ceremony facilitator, founder of Magic Earth Cacao, womb

energy healer and certified mindfulness and spirituality coach

I was diagnosed with fibroids which required me to have an abdominal operation to remove them, and that meant cutting into my uterus. The doctors said I might not be able to have children if I didn’t have this operation. I had been having some pain in that area but I had chalked it up to being really stressed from working in the corporate world, as a lawyer in the aircraft finance industry.

Being signed off work for three months for recovery was the catalyst to change. During recovery I was pretty immobile, I couldn’t really move around. I had to sit and let my body rest and heal and when I had that space I got clarity. I realised that my workload wasn’t healthy, but I didn’t know what else I could possibly do with my life. I went to university for years to become a lawyer. That’s not something you do lightly, you don’t just walk away from it.

I was almost 39 years old at that time and I thought my opportunity to have a baby was over. I was never really trying because I was single. When my life slowed down in recovery I realised I really did want to have a family. I’d been dating in Dublin for a number of years prior to that, but wasn’t having any luck. The doctors told me that removing the fibroids didn’t guarantee that they wouldn’t come back and I really didn’t want a recurrence.

At this point I looked at my spiritual health and what I was putting into my body – my diet, my lifestyle and my relationships with family and friends. I started doing acupuncture and going to therapy. I was completely turned off by the Western medicine. I was grateful for the operation but I just kept getting fearful messages from them, “You won’t be able to have children, your biological clock is ticking” and I didn’t want to live in that space. I started seeking out alternative methods for healing.

After my operation, I underwent IVF (in vitro fertilisation) and egg collection to freeze my eggs, because the doctors were stressing my biological clock was ticking. That was a very trying process, so I tried mind altering and psychoactive plant medicine because I realised I had to go much further back if I wanted to heal my body. I needed to go back to my first menstrual cycle, I had to face my entire life including abuse and trauma that had happened down the family line and a pregnancy loss I had when I was 18 years old. It was like all the stories stored in the womb and in other parts of the body were starting to come out.

That period was quite intense and afterwards I was looking for a softer approach. That’s where ceremonial cacao came in. A friend introduced me to it as a way to connect the body into that centred space inside to work on healing. Ceremonial cacao is a traditional plant medicine for modern times and rituals are essential – psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. The first time I had it was on the Hill of Slane, a very sacred site in Co. Meath with a very powerful energy. It is really gentle and is not psychoactive, so you will not hallucinate or get high from it. You might feel a little bit of euphoria because it increases blood flow especially if you take it in ceremonial doses, like up to or around two ounces. This pumps a lot more blood to your heart, to your lungs, to your brain, to all of your vital organs and helps us to have that euphoric feeling.

Giving up my job as a lawyer was a gradual thing. I went to Peru to learn about the people that cultivate this plant and to understand how it has such a strong effect on us. I had a really beautiful healing from it instantly. I thought, wouldn’t it be amazing if we could bring a bunch of people together in a circle, and do this together in a shared experience?

When I came home from Peru

with a few bars of cacao I held my first ceremony. Then I travelled to Nepal and came back with more. People received such amazing benefits at those ceremonies that they bought the cacao to practise at home and it grew from there. I want people to learn about the ceremony rather than just drink it as a chocolate drink. While it might taste delicious, you are missing out on so many of the benefits and could end up paying a lot of money for a tasty drink because it’s not cheap.

It’s important that people know how ceremonial cacao differs from chocolate or even cacao you’d find in a health food store labelled “100% pure”, “organic” or “bean to bar”. Cacao that’s advertised as “organic” or “raw” might retain the health benefits of cacao but aren’t necessarily “ceremonial”. These versions shouldn’t be used in a ceremonial setting. I’m on a mission to share authentic ceremonial grade cacao so that more people can experience its true power. Ceremonial cacao is also an incredibly nutrient-dense superfood, containing over 700 health-promoting compounds, including theobromine – a natural stimulant.

We have many distractions in life, we’re constantly on the go and constantly thinking about what’s coming next. When you have a cup of cacao you slow down and reconnect with yourself and even if it is for just 10 or 15 minutes that has a healing impact on the body and the mind. The activating agent theobromine in ceremonial cacao lasts up to seven hours, whereas caffeine in coffee lasts two to four. Unlike the jittery “buzz” that comes from the caffeine in coffee, theobromine is gentle on the nervous system and gives a sustained, uplifting “hum” that runs deeper and lasts longer. Caffeine constricts our blood vessels, which means less blood is pumping to our vital organs, with cacao it’s the opposite.

To me the spirit of ceremonial cacao definitely feels like a female form, like a mother. In Mayan and Aztec mythology, cacao was represented by the goddess of fertility and abundance. You don’t have to drink it every day to get the benefits. You can enjoy a cup of cacao on your own once per week, or go to a ceremony every month or couple of months with a group of people. Everyone’s a little cacao crazy now and there is a lot of misinformation out there. Rituals are not a woo-hoo fad, they’re essential to human beings, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. To have a cacao ceremony, you need intention and gratitude; intention for what you want to bring into your life or something you want to let go of. The ceremonial cacao supports you in reaching your intention and is an excellent tool to open our hearts to healing, love and creativity.

When I was trying to heal my body, I discovered all my issues related to the womb space and ceremonial cacao came into my life at the perfect time, helping me to connect with my womb. I bled every month, and I suppose I ovulated every month too from the time I was 13. But I never gave any recognition or acknowledgement to my body for going through that death and rebirth process every single month. I never considered that our cycles are almost exactly the same as the moon cycles that happen every single month. I wasn’t connected in that way. So cacao ceremonies have really helped me to stay tuned into my body and womb every day. I do this by putting my hand over my womb, close my eyes, imagine her there in my body and say, thank you. Just start acknowledging and talking to her as if she was a person. If you can do this when you are alone and in nature it is even more powerful.

Today, while I still do some workshops and retreats, my main focus is my online business Magic Earth Cacao and my online facilitator course. The happiest part of this journey was finding my family; my son River is almost three years old. Three months after starting my womb space journey I met my now husband and a month later, I was pregnant naturally with no issues. Sure, I also did acupuncture, talking therapy, and I got Reiki level one, two, and three qualifications. I stopped drinking alcohol. I never smoked a cigarette again. I did a lot of stuff that wasn’t just ceremonial cacao and I have to be honest about that. But, ceremonial cacao was the consistent practice that I had throughout this process. I truly believe that working with the abundance and fertility energy of this cacao plant is what brought my husband and my baby to me, so easily. My husband walked into one of my cacao ceremonies and we both knew right away. Six weeks later, we were pregnant, without even trying when the doctors told me that I would definitely need to fertilise my embryos. They’re still in the freezer in Dublin.

The happiest part of this journey was finding my family

At the age of 56, I completely changed my career trajectory – what started out as a hobby during the pandemic has now turned into a thriving business.

After working for the travel industry for many years, mainly in business and corporate travel, I turned my hand to something more creative – candle and reed diffuser making.

I wouldn’t be doing this only for Covid. I had worked in the travel industry for years. I had gotten married and had a child. I worked for nine years full-time while my son was growing up, then I went part-time, I had always worked for someone else.

Sadly, my father became sick, so I took a break from work to care for him.

In the following years, I went on a cruise, where I had an epiphany to write a book. It took me two years to finish the book, which was titled Mediterranean Menopause. It takes a lot to write a book, I had to research, edit, there’s much more than you think.

However, I missed travel, so I decided to work with Travel Counsellors. This company allows people to work from home as a travel agent. You build up a client base, they provide the technology. I specialised in cruises. It was brilliant. I could work around our lives, and I found it really good as a mother.

However, everything changed when Covid hit and travel was disrupted for two years amidst many lockdowns. I was unfortunately forced to shutter my business. Like many people during Covid, I was left wondering what to do.

My partner Ciarán had given me a candle-making kit for Valentine’s Day that year. From the moment I made the first candle, I was hooked. I just fell in love with it and I kept buying more.

I had always been a creative child, and it was nice to get back to doing something artistic. I had never felt happier. I started off small, just giving to friends and family. I also found it very therapeutic. People began to ask if I’d try to turn my hobby into a

From the moment I made the first candle, I was hooked

business. My partner Ciarán advised me to do a course in candlemaking, so I went to the UK to study the craft when one of the lockdowns was lifted. I then decided to dive headfirst into making a business out of my candles, and so, Senses by Ro was created.

There’s a lot of up-front costs when starting a business. The price of marketing, buying materials and building a website all have to be factored in. It is hard to get going, especially when you are on your own. At the moment, I sell candles and reed diffusers, with four different scents. My Harmony Wild Lemongrass scent is the most popular. But I would love to expand.

I make all of the products in my home studio in Dún Laoghaire. While being self-employed can be difficult, especially financially, I would not change it for the world. I couldn’t go back to working for someone else. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, it’s so fulfilling. It really touches my heart when someone orders a candle or reed diffuser from me. To think someone is buying what I make with my own hands... And when I see my candles in someone else’s house, it gives me such warmth. I really feel proud.

We all dream of running away with the circus when we are small. While most are lured in by the bright lights, fun atmosphere and amazing aerialists and acrobats, the majority of us never make it as far as the tightrope.

That is not the case with me! I am from Wexford and always had a keen interest in gymnastics, I took part in the sport as a child. However, by the time I reached my teens, I didn’t want to keep training for several nights every week, so I opted to leave.

When I left school, I attended college in Waterford and studied nursing. I eventually went on to specialise in mental health nursing.

When I was in my early 20s, I took part in a circus taster workshop in Dublin. From that moment on, I was hooked.

I wanted to be an aerialist, performing stunts and spins with ropes. However, I needed training first. I trained in a studio called Taking Flight, based in Dublin. On my days off from college and during the summer, I drove up to Dublin to perfect my craft.

After I qualified as a nurse, I worked nursing shifts during the week, usually for three days, then drove to Dublin to train for the other four days.

The performance looks like it is only three to five minutes, but a lot of work goes into it. There’s the make-up, costumes, devising the act, picking the music... It takes quite a while to put it together.

The very first time I performed, I was very in my head, constantly asking, “What’s the next step, what’s the next step.”

My family came to see one of my first performances, which took place in Kilkenny. It was literally the first week I was performing, which I wasn’t too happy about at the time as I wanted more practice. But it went well.

The more experience I got, the more I was able to connect with the audience, especially those who sit ringside. It’s a mad feeling, but sometimes I feel like I am in my own little world up there.

Adapting to life in the circus was very tough for me in the beginning. I had to cope without constant running water, learn how to fill a water tank and how to empty my toilet. The people who are in the circus with me were so kind and helpful. Most of them had grown up that way, so it was second nature to them.

At the moment, I am not travelling with the circus. I filled in for a couple of weeks for an artist who was injured, but this year, I am focusing on training mainly.

Currently I work in nursing from Monday to Wednesday, and Thursday to Sunday I train with the circus. I want to do flying trapeze. I really want to be a flyer, but it takes a lot of dedication and training.

I have no regrets about joining the circus. I can go back to nursing anytime. In 20 years’ time, my body might not let me do this. I’d encourage anyone to take the leap. The worst that can happen is it doesn’t work out and you go back to what you were doing.

Sometimes I feel like I am in my own little world up there

Transitioning to a new educational setting, whether it’s crèche, playschool, or primary school, can be an exciting yet challenging time for both children and their families. To ensure a smooth transition, it’s important to help everyone in the house be prepared emotionally, cognitively (where appropriate), and physically. This will help set your child up for a successful start to their new journey. Remember to be patient and supportive, as each child’s adaptation process is unique but with your guidance they will soon thrive in their new environment.

Emotional REadinEss

Talk about the upcoming change Address any concerns or fears your child may have and encourage them to express their feelings.

Arrange visits to the new school or childcare facility before they start. Chat about the building/the flowers/the grass or yard for lunchtimes, etc. It allows them to feel a little familiar with the surroundings so it’s one less “new” thing for them to experience. Meet their caregivers, and participate in orientation programmes.

Establish routines including regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and activities. This stability can provide a sense of security during the transition period. Leave the uniform or clothes out ready the night before. And get your little one involved in that too. It’s important to encourage them to take responsibility for getting themselves ready once old enough.

Gradually introduce tasks they will encounter in their new setting, such as dressing themselves, using the bathroom independently, or packing their own bag.

CognitivE REadinEss

Encourage your child to practice skills like zipping their own coat, using utensils, or tying shoelaces. These selfhelp skills foster independence and boost confidence in handling new situations.

Engage your child in age-appropriate problem-solving activities, such as puzzles, games, or riddles. This helps develop their cognitive abilities and prepares them for challenges they may encounter in their educational setting.

Give them the space to solve problems for themselves. This builds confidence and resilience from an early age. And no panic if they get something wrong – that’s how they learn.

Read books about school or childcare to help your child understand their new surrounding. Engage in storytelling sessions where they can use their imagination to explore different scenarios related to their new start.

PhysiCal REadinEss

Ensure your child gets enough sleep and follows a healthy diet. Breakfast should always be protein based and low in sugar so ditch the orange juice and cereal – egg and brown bread/toast is one of the best breakfasts around. Or beans on toast if your little one has an egg sensitivity or allergy.

Sugar-filled breakfasts cause a blood sugar spike followed by an insulin spike which then results in a sleepy low-energy child around 10.30am. Protein breakfasts help maintain energy and focus throughout the morning. Also, be mindful of what you pack for lunch. You don’t want them having a spike in the afternoon followed by a dip.

A well-rested and nourished child will be better equipped to handle the physical demands of a new environment. Schedule any necessary doctor visits to ensure your child is in good health and up-to-date with required vaccinations. Create a checklist of necessary supplies such as backpacks, lunchboxes, water bottles, and any specific items required. Involve your child in the selection process to help them feel excited and invested in their new adventure.

ollywn’s toP tiPs

Display enthusiasm and positivity when discussing the upcoming transition. Your attitude will greatly influence your child’s perception and emotional readiness.

I always suggest drawing a “Love Button” on the palm of their hand and on your hand in the same position. Explain to them that any time they feel like a hug from Mum/Dad/or other to press the button on their hand and you’ll send them a hug. It helps them to still feel connected with their significant adults in their life.

Keep the lines of communication open with caregivers, and other parents. Regularly check in to discuss any concerns or progress.

For smallies starting crèche for the first time, consider providing a comfort object, such as a favourite toy, that your child can keep with them during their first days in the new setting.

Encourage your child to make friends by arranging playdates or attending school or community events where they can interact with their peers. Don’t pressure your little one to tell you everything right away, it may take them a little time to decompress from their day. Often during bath time you will get more information about how their day went. Just remember to ask open-ended questions. And not to push or pressure them to engage.

Encourage them to take responsibility for getting their uniform ready