Old shoes, ‘redacted’ pangs and being dead in Norway FROM THE SPORTS VAULTS
WEDNESDAY: APRIL 7
I WORE a new pair of Asics to work. Not because of this being the special, sacred part of the week – Deadline Day – but the prosaic fact of the previous pair having a hole in them (more specifically the left runner).
One of the rooms at the house where we live has become an unofficial Asics graveyard. Used pairs end up there, unwearable but still wanted, trapped in nostalgic limbo. I’ve worn Asics of various guises since 1997, having long discovered that they are comfortable, practical and look snazzy. I also read somewhere that Asics were the running shoe of choice for Jesus and his disciples. Although I’ve previously made my disdain known for RTÉ chef Mark Moriarty, I watched his programme this evening with interest. It helps to watch a cookery programme when hungry. Moriarty’s method for bolognese and garlic bread was delicious, not to mention his suggestion for bacon, cabbage and parsley sauce. Herself has challenged me to a re-enactment of these recipes but I remind her that I already play a vital role in the household’s cooking – the devouring of the end product.
With no appetite for the Champions League (now that United are no longer in this season’s competition), I watched enjoyable chunks of Linfield’s 2-1 defeat of Coleraine.
THURSDAY: APRIL 8
THERE is reassurance to being reminded of something that one already knows. For example, the sleep snatched after the snooze button is pressed is always the sweetest. I wonder should I invest in Bitcoin or similar cryptocurrency. Does cryptocurrency suggest, as it does to me, that this money was found in a, er, crypt? What about those who, after finding a stray coin, spit on it before trousering it? That is called spitcoin. If I appear to be rambling in this missive’s section, I am. I have seen the signs. One recent morning I spotted rugby player Hubert Gilvarry, also a fine Gaelic footballer, sprinting down High Street with a plastic bag in one hand. The other day I saw a young fellow on O’Connell Street, juggling a rugby ball.
Today I watched a female skater fall, quite spectacularly, on a piece of pavement. She was rattled, methinks more due to embarrassment, and thankfully unhurt.
United won 2-0 against Granada. Marcus ‘Rasher’ Rashford scored neatly after the most deftest of touches and Bruno added the gloss late on. Gerry Armstrong gave priceless match analysis on Virgin Media’s televised coverage. At one point in the second-half, when Granada’s Domingos Duarte overzealously tackled United’s Daniel James. Armstrong exclaimed: “He wants to clean him out of the park!”
FRIDAY: APRIL 9
PAUL Murphy TD has arguably coined the best phrase to describe fish wasn’t able to watch Dundalk’s plummet – from participating in the Europa League group stage in 2020 to recently losing to Finn Harps – but our marine friend had a greater problem, that of being dead. United came back from the dead, beating Spurs 3-1. Substitute Mason Greenwood was masterful.
MONDAY: APRIL 12
THE rage is real. People have fumed that lockdown prevented them from hosting house parties/orgies, getting haircuts (from professionals, hair shortening procedures from mothers/partners doesn’t count) or going to worship a deity that may or may not exist.
I’m raging that the tweaking of government restrictions means there are no more trips to REDACTED. Now
I’m allowed to travel to those fabulous beaches at Dunmoran, Streedagh, Enniscrone, Lissadell, Rosses Point and Strandhill. But no more visits to REDACTED.
Yesterday’s victory for United was mentioned by my mum during one of my daily phone calls to her. Years ago, before score updates appeared even before the scores, I was at Kilcoyne Park (covering a GAA game) while United were playing at Old Trafford. With a Nokia mobile phone that only was used for making/receiving calls and sending SMS messages
(no internet), I had to ring home for details on United’s fortunes. My mother, who was in the middle of household chores, was tasked with finding out the latest score via updates she would overhear from the radio blaring in the kitchen. “Are they winning?” I asked, impatient. “I think they are,” replied by mother. “And who scored?” I blurted out.
“The new fella,” she said. Turns out that ‘new fella’ was a certain Ruud van Nistelrooy.
TUESDAY: APRIL 13
I HAVEN’T had a bar of chocolate, a bite of a Bertie (you know the little guy in the Bassetts Liquorice Allsorts) or a slice of Gateaux Swiss Roll in 60 days. But who is counting?
With the weather so pleasant at present, it must be nice to drive around in a convertible (I spotted one yesterday, with the roof down, along Riverside). Something else of note that I spotted in this town, which could be very much attainable, is putting my keys at the end of a reasonably long string.
The Guardian tells me of cocooning brought to a whole new level. Police in Norway found a body of a man in a flat – he had been lying there (not alive, presumably) for nine years until discovered by the building’s caretaker. Willie (my dad) told me of once finding a deceased neighbour. Unlike our Norway chap, this Killeenduff resident hadn’t been spotted for a few days, prompting concerns and then a visit to the man’s house. These days do we know our neighbours or even want to? Ask yourself this: Could you go next door and borrow an item of food? Or just pass the time of day from a safe distance?
CONDOLENCES
The club extends sympathy to former club chairman Brian Kelly on the passing of his father, Vincent, in Roscommon.
RETURN TO PLAY
As per recent government announcements, underage training will be permitted to return later this month.
From Monday week, April 26, non-contact underage GAA training will be permitted in pods of 15 players. The club looks forward to welcoming back its underage teams. Coaches will be in touch with players in the coming weeks with regard to training and registration.
CLUB SHOP
John Kent Sports is operating a St Mary’s club shop through its website. There is a wide range of kids and adult playing gear available. If players and club members need to pick up some new gear for the upcoming season please go to www.johnkentsports.com.