As Siobhan O’Connor writes about being in the baby club (see Page 10), Pat Fitzpatrick takes a look at some of the world’s most well-known offspring
1 PRINCE GEORGE
Some moms love to dress their kids like him. There is actually a website called whatprincegeorgewore.com. The name yousnivellingwannabe.com must have been taken. That’s unfair. Not all the parents are snivelling. But still, you can’t deny George and his little sister Charlotte are very cute kids. You can just imagine them, running around like mad and putting a smile on everyone’s face with their hilarious inappropriate questions. Like, “How come Uncle Harry doesn’t look like the rest of us?”
2 BROOKLYN BECKHAM
Brooklyn’s arrival back in 1999 put a smile on everyone’s face. Except his mother’s. It’s unclear why she stopped smiling in public. Until you google ‘Posh Spice smile early Spice Girls days’. It’s like she’s very angry because someone glued her teeth together. Brooklyn has shown some promise as a footballer. There are a number of routes he could take. One is to marry a famous pop star and hope the media exposure will prolong his career. Worked for his dad.
3 NORTH WEST
Not a radio station in Donegal. She is the daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Timings suggest her brother, Saint, wasn’t conceived during her parent’s Irish honeymoon. Just as well, given celeb naming habits. He could have been called Portlaoise. Where did you get your name? I was conceived there. You mean your mom had sex with your dad after he brought her to Portlaoise on honeymoon? Ya, it’s a weird one.
4 AMADA LEE MENDES
Sorry about this, but we’ll have to show a photo of the parents for this one. That would be Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, the famously private A-list couple who are reluctant to use photos of their kids to boost their profiles. So when anyone writes about the chisellers, they are forced to festoon the piece with photos of their gorgeous, photogenic, superstar parents. Can you imagine the damage that must be doing to their careers? No? Neither can we.
5 AOIFE BELLE FODEN
Dear Aoife, Love the photos of you with Mom, Una, from The Voice of Ireland. You live in England. So please start using your second name, Belle, as soon as possible. An English person is about as likely to pronounce Aoife as they are to stop putting a question at the end of every sentence, aren’t they? All the best from Caoimhe, Sadhbh, Cathal, Eoin and others who moved home from England because it got too much, didn’t it?