FA­MOUS HOTE­LIERS

As Sarah Caden talks to hote­lier Fran­cis Bren­nan (see Page 20), Pat Fitz­patrick takes a look at some other prom­i­nent peo­ple in the hos­pi­tal­ity busi­ness

Sunday Independent (Ireland) - Life - - FIRST PERSON -

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You couldn’t make

now. Bri­tain has moved on from be­ing a land of nos­tal­gic lit­tle Eng­lan­ders. (Don’t men­tion the Brexit!). The show’s stereo­typ­i­cal un­re­li­able, half­pissed Irish builder called O’Reilly was well wide of the mark. Irish builders at that time were usu­ally called ei­ther Mur­phy or O’Toole. Still, that bit where Basil goose-stepped in front of the Ger­mans was hi­lar­i­ous. Right up to the mo­ment you tried it your­self at Ok­to­ber­fest and ended up get­ting ‘con­sular as­sis­tance’.

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The now de­funct Trump Univer­sity once of­fered cour­ses to peo­ple in ‘real es­tate in­vest­ment’. Some say it is the most use­less qual­i­fi­ca­tion of all time. Oth­ers say, “You ob­vi­ously never heard of arts.” When Don­ald ar­rived at Shan­non in 2014, he was greeted with a time­less piece of Irish cul­ture. A lo­cal politi­cian lick­ing his ass in the hope of land­ing a few jobs. Still, you have to say, it beats lick­ing Don­ald’s hair. Who knows what goes into that nest of a thing?

3 BASIL FAWLTY Fawlty Tow­ers DON­ALD TRUMP CONRAD HIL­TON

The man be­hind the Hil­ton chain started a foun­da­tion in 1944, ded­i­cated to end­ing suf­fer­ing through­out the world. And still we don’t have travel-size tooth­paste in ho­tels. Is it too much to ask? Lis­ten hote­liers, if you need to make a sav­ing some­where else, just ditch the free shower cap. That gets about as much use as your ex­pen­sive soft-porn of­fer­ing, now that peo­ple can stream live filth us­ing your free Wi-Fi. Other peo­ple, ob­vi­ously, not us.

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Who? Hugh. Hugh who? Hugh Jack­man. An Aus­tralian star you’ve never heard of, be­cause no­body over 15 is in­ter­ested in movies any more. He owns a lux­ury well­ness cen­tre in Aus­tralia. Our guess is the def­i­ni­tion of well­ness in this con­text is some­thing that ends the minute you see the bill. “What the bloody hell is this, ya flamin’ mon­grel?” says you, be­cause you’ve watched way too much

and now Alf Ste­wart lives in your head.

Away, 5 HUGH JACK­MAN BONO Home and

Bono is one of the own­ers of The Clarence Ho­tel in Dublin. The Edge is an­other. A night in the ho­tel’s pent­house suite will cost about €1,200. We tried to book it there now, and the in­ter­net ac­tu­ally started laugh­ing at us. One of the lux­ury fea­tures in the suite is an en­ter­tain­ment sys­tem. You can play what­ever mu­sic you like there, be­cause Bono and The Edge aren’t the type to force peo­ple to lis­ten to their new al­bum. Again.

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