I’m so heart­bro­ken that I can’t go on

Sunday Independent (Ireland) - Living - - MARY O’CONOR -

Where do I start? I mar­ried my teenage sweet­heart and we had a son. But she cheated on me and had a three-year af­fair with a close fam­ily mem­ber.

Fi­nally I left the fam­ily home and strug­gled with be­ing home­less. I suf­fered from de­pres­sion and tried to com­mit sui­cide and was hospitalised. Even­tu­ally I was re­leased from hos­pi­tal but to a home­less shel­ter.

That’s only a broad out­line of the start of my prob­lems, be­tween be­ing ver­bally abused, emo­tional abused, and then phys­i­cally abused which made me leave my home. I lost ev­ery­thing and I was com­pletely bro­ken. I was so de­pressed that on a few oc­ca­sions I tried again to take my life.

Even­tu­ally I met a fan­tas­tic, beau­ti­ful lady, di­vorced with three chil­dren, and things couldn’t have been bet­ter. We just got on so well and the kids were amaz­ing. Of course they fought as chil­dren do, but our re­la­tion­ship was fun and com­pletely full of love and re­spect. I would have done ab­so­lutely any­thing to keep that amaz­ing lady happy, and to see her smile ac­tu­ally melted my heart.

Then af­ter two years of us be­ing in a re­la­tion­ship she de­cided to just end it in a text mes­sage to me.

I’ve never been more dev­as­tated in my life. I can­not be­lieve that a lov­ing lady and beau­ti­ful fam­ily are gone out of my life.

We never had any kind of ar­gu­ment and I can’t be­lieve that this has hap­pened to me again. You can con­tact Mary O’conor anony­mously by vis­it­ing www.dear­mary.ie or email her at dear­[email protected]­de­pen­dent.ie or write c/o 27-32 Tal­bot St, Dublin 1. All cor­re­spon­dence will be treated in con­fi­dence. Mary O’conor re­grets that she is un­able to an­swer any ques­tions pri­vately I’m bro­ken-hearted and what do I do? How do I carry on with­out end­ing it all by com­mit­ting sui­cide? Please help me.

ATHIS is a heart­break­ing let­ter and I am so sorry that you have had to suf­fer so much. You have been let down very badly by the women in your life in two dif­fer­ent re­la­tion­ships and I can feel the pain in your writ­ing.

I do not take your com­ment about end­ing it all by sui­cide at all lightly. More peo­ple die by sui­cide in Ire­land each year than in road traf­fic ac­ci­dents and that is a very sober­ing thought.

It must be truly aw­ful to have sui­ci­dal thoughts but there is help avail­able to you, and even though you feel so com­pletely bro­ken and dis­heart­ened right now, it doesn’t have to al­ways be like this.

You ex­pe­ri­enced what a lov­ing re­la­tion­ship can be like, and even though you will find it very hard to trust a woman again, hope­fully in the fu­ture you will learn to love again.

How­ever you need help right now in get­ting through this very dif­fi­cult pe­riod of your life.

The two ser­vices where you can get im­me­di­ate help, if only by hav­ing some­one to lis­ten to you and hear your story are Pi­eta House (tele­phone 1800 247 247) and the Sa­mar­i­tans who are avail­able 24 hours a day and ev­ery day of the year on 116 123. Then the next step will be to visit your GP and ex­plain how you are feel­ing.

Your doc­tor may de­cide that short-term med­i­ca­tion would be ben­e­fi­cial. Please don’t feel that you have to deal with all of this on your own. You have been helped pre­vi­ously to get back on your feet and so please seek help again.

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