STATESIDE STARS

As Caroline Morahan writes about her life in LA, (see page 10) Pat Fitzpatrick looks at some Irish people who made it big in the United States

1 BRENDAN BOWYER

Big in Las Vegas and famous for The Hucklebuck. Are we really supposed to believe that “do the hucklebuck” wasn’t some kind of sly rhyming slang for you-know-what? A lot of 1960s Irish men learned the facts of life from that song. “Jesus, Donal, what are you trying to do?” “I thought I’m supposed to wriggle like a snake and waddle like a duck, Nuala?” “Feck it. I’ll get you that book about sex out of the library. And is there any chance you’d put down your drink?”

2 AMANDA BYRAM

Amanda made a big breakthrough in the States, hosting the controversial makeover show,

The Swan. Some eejit said it was a major threat to western civilisation. The Taliban must be very jealous. Amanda starred on the BBC game show Total Wipeout, where she laughed at other people’s humiliation. The Germans have a whole book for it. Her co-host was the really annoying guy from Top Gear with the embarrassing 1970s haircut. That narrows it down to the three of them.

3 GABRIEL BYRNE

Gabriel recently starred as a psychotherapist in In Treatment. As a graduate of the Irish school of psychotherapy, Gabriel told his patients that they should be open to the possibility that they are to blame for everything. Or else try and blame it on The Gathering. Gabriel took a lot of flak when he said The Gathering was just another way to rip off the diaspora. Luckily, the Yanks weren’t paying attention and turned up in their droves. Ker-ching!

4 BRENDAN BEHAN

Brendan Behan changed the way we Irish are viewed in America. Before his drunken antics over there in the early 1960s, the Irish were viewed as hard-working, religious people, who liked to play by the rules. Hang on a minute — that was the Dutch. Irish people were viewed as feckless layabouts who spent most of their time drinking and fighting. Which was wide of the mark, in fairness. There was a lot of gambling going on as well.

5 COLUM MCCANN

Colum McCann is an acclaimed novelist, now living in New York. You might not have heard of him, as he tends to steer clear of chick-lit. So if you’re looking for recognition at home, Colum, just write a book called I’d Settle for

Anyone. It’s the story of Ciara, 37, a successful cupcake entrepreneur who just can’t find Mr Right. Until she meets Gearoid, a rugged but emotionally hopeless billionaire with a huge Bentley. Says you.