LISA GARVEY

Lisa Garvey, 34, is a TV programme department assistant and a comic actress. She has a degree in Italian and History and used to work in the bank. Now she does impressions on ‘Callan’s Kicks’. From Malahide, she lives in Killester with her boyfriend, Dave

Ilive in an apartment in Killester with my boyfriend, Dave. He’s a Southsider and I’m a Northsider, but I made him move over. He works as a taxi driver. If he’s still in bed, I’ll tiptoe around the place. I get ready and then leave to get the Dart into work. I never have breakfast, because I like to spend as long as possible in bed in the mornings. Dave always calls me ‘the late Lisa Garvey’ because I’m always rushing. I tell him that I’m never late for anything important, to which he replies, ‘So I’m not important?’ I just cut it very fine. I get off the Dart at Sydney Parade and then I walk to RTE.

I have cereal in work and I bring my lunch with me, too. I’m very boring with food, and I have the same thing every single day. I have no interest in food and I hate cooking. It stresses me out. I have no desire to cook, ever. If it was up to me, I’d have cereal for all my meals. I’ve often had cereal for dinner. I’m really lucky that my boyfriend cooks for me all the time.

I work Monday to Friday, 10am to 6pm. I’m a programme department assistant, which means that I do a lot of administrative stuff. I look after guest hospitality, mostly for chat shows. It is usually things like booking hotels and looking after payments. But I’ve just spent the last five months on a project developing new ideas for shows.

I began as a runner in RTE and I was a pretty late starter there. Up until then, I did a degree in Italian and History in UCD. Chris O’Dowd and Amy Huberman were in my year. I knew them because we all acted in dramsoc.

Then, simply because I needed money, I ended up working in the bank. I was there for two and-a-half years and while there, I set up an annual variety show. I had to do something creative. But then I left, because otherwise a decade would have passed, and I’d still be there. I did an acting course at night, made a demo to try to get some voiceover work, and then I did some children’s theatre too.

I was 27 when I went to a production company, looking for some work as a runner. They laughed at me for being too old for that sort of job, but I was willing to do it. I worked on all sorts of programmes, including The Late Late Show. It was back when Pat Kenny was the host.

As well as my day job, I got involved in doing comedy sketches for RTE shows. Sometimes I nip around the corner to do the odd sketch for Republic of Telly. One night when I was working on a chat show, I did an impromptu audition for the impressionist Oliver Callan in the Green Room. I had heard that he was about to get his own programme on radio. I did Miriam O’Callaghan for him. After that, I did a pilot with him and then the radio show Callan’s Kicks was picked up. Now I do the TV show with him too.

I do impressions of Mary Lou McDonald, Claire Byrne, Miriam, and Amy Huberman.

It was a little weird doing Amy, because we’re still friends. We went out for a drink last Christmas and I told her that I had a confession to make — that I was doing impressions of her. She laughed and said that she was glad it was me and not someone else.

For the TV, the key thing was to get her smile. I worked on Miriam O’Callaghan’s summer chat show for two years, so I was able to study her closely. Then, in the evenings, I’d go into the studio and become her. She’s very nice, but I don’t think she knows that I take

I worked on Miriam’s summer chat show, so I was able to study her closely. I don’t think she knows I take her off

her off — well, not yet, anyway.

Miriam is so loud and then, there is a total contrast when I do Claire Byrne, because she has a low-pitched voice which can be very deadpan. When I do Mary Lou McDonald, she has this nasal thing and there’s a sort of a lisp in there. For the TV show, they went over the top with her. She has a huge green necklace, we padded her out and they gave her a very orange face. It’s brilliant fun.

I have my day job and I’m lucky to have it, but I’ve always wanted to be in radio and television. For the past six years I’ve been in a comedy sketch group called Ghost Train Willy. My main RTE job is full of administrative work, so this allows me to use my creative side. Five of us meet every week and we write sketches and then perform them. We always have a script in the end. The aim is to have a show every year and, so far, we have done that. At the moment, we’re rehearsing Rhubarb Crumble, our new sketch show, which will be on in September in Bewley’s Cafe Theatre as part of the Tiger Dublin Fringe festival. We normally try out our shows in the International Bar to see what works. The aim is to make people laugh. We’d love to have our own sketch show some day.

Most days of a performance, I go from work in RTE to the venue. I get extremely nervous beforehand. I get this blind panic where I think, ‘this is the most unfunny thing we’ve ever written’. But then, when I get out on stage, it’s my favourite feeling in the world. It’s a great buzz. It’s glorious when someone laughs at something you did. It takes an awful lot to make my boyfriend laugh out loud, so when he likes it, there is a huge sense of relief.

When I get off the stage, I’m high, but then I’m also a little worried about the show. You end up thinking about lines that got a laugh and others that didn’t work. Unless it’s the last night, we don’t go drinking after a show. We didn’t go drinking together for years as a group, so it’s not a social thing. I’m usually home by 11pm. I might watch a bit of telly and then go to bed, because I’m up for work in the morning.

I’d like my side job to eventually become my real job. Some day I might be a guest on a chat show, sitting in the dressing room, saying, ‘bring me blue M&M’s’.

‘Rhubarb Crumble’ by Ghost Train Willy is at Bewley’s Cafe Theatre from September 15-20, at 8.30pm, as part of Tiger Dublin Fringe festival. The final episode of ‘Callan’s Kicks’ is on this Friday, at 9.35pm, RTE One