AMUSE BOUCHE

The competitive girls’ night out

‘Sorry I’m late,” Paula says to Anita and Suzanne, joining them in the Mexican restaurant. “You two look amazing.”

“Thank the post-Christmas diets,” says Anita, adding, a beat too late, “you look amazing, too.”

Anita and Suzanne did not need to be on diets, they just lived by self-denial. Not a diet, Paula thought, just not eating. Paula had eaten a bit before coming out. She suffered from ‘enough’ panic, a specific fear that swept over her in restaurants. ‘Greedy’ might be another name for it, she supposed, but when she was out, no matter what they put in front of her, Paula always thought, “God, I hope that’s going to be enough”.

Usually, it was plenty, but that wouldn’t be the case tonight. Anita and Suzanne were foodies, but not eaters. They could tell you all about good fats and bad fats but, as far as Paula could tell, they didn’t actually eat either kind.

Anita is telling Suzanne and Paula that she’s lost her 2kg of Christmas ‘poundage’ by portion control. “I’ve been eating all my meals off one of Sophie’s Frozen plastic plates,” Anita says. “She’s livid because it’s her favourite plate, but I’ve told her she’s four now and a favourite plate is babyish. And it’s the best plate for me because it’s tiny — and also so hideous, it would put you off eating.”

“Tonight’s cheat night, though!” says Suzanne, before ordering the fish tacos with no guac, no cheese and no sour cream. “Just cod in a wrap?” Paula says. “That’s so funny,” says Suzanne, not laughing. “If we share chicken wings to start, they’re so rich that I couldn’t eat all those toppings.”

Paula orders the quesadilla. And all the toppings. She thinks Anita’s eyebrows rise, but it’s hard to tell. Her forehead doesn’t move much lately.

They share the wings. Paula could eat the lot by herself, but practises portion control by matching the moderation of Anita and Suzanne. It’s not easy.

There are wings left when the waiter clears the plates. The waste makes Paula queasy. She stops halfway through her quesadilla, when she notices that Suzanne’s left half her dry wrap. A sin, thinks Paula. “Everything OK?” the waiter asks. “Oh, yes,” says Paula. “We’ve just had enough.”