LATE, GREAT ROCK HEROES

As we talk to Paris Jackson, daughter of the late Michael Jackson (see Page 16), Pat Fitzpatrick has a look at other music legends who have died

DAVID BOWIE

July 5, 1972. Bowie and his band played Starman on Top of the Pops. Some people will tell you that, one week later, every man in England had grown his hair long and was flouncing around the place in high heels. Closer to truth is that five guys in art college did it, and they got beaten up outside a Tube station by a bunch of Chelsea fans. Still, Bowie showed us that gender fluidity could be cool and fun. As against now, where it’s people wondering what to call the gents’ toilet.

ELVIS PRESLEY

Before all you conspiracy types get started on the fact that he’s running a diner in Louisiana with Marilyn Monroe, Elvis would be 82 now. And we’d be giving him a new hip every year and forcing him to dance around in blue suede shoes, just to show that rock and roll will never die. So maybe it’s best he went when he did. At least that way, future generations can look back at his work and agree he was one of the greatest artists of all time. As long as they don’t watch one of his movies.

LEONARD COHEN

The Canadian star died in LA the same week Trump was elected. This raises some questions. Like, if Canada is so amazing, how come anyone who makes it big moves to the US? Enough of that. Leonard featured in the Irish dating game. Guy: “I like Leonard Cohen.” Girl: “OK, so what you’re saying is you’re shy and I’ll be expected to make the first move.” Guy: “Yes.” Guy closes eyes and opens mouth. Girl does a legger.

PRINCE

Prince played Cork in 1990. He lost in a replay. (Make it stop.) There were rumours before the Pairc Ui Chaoimh gig that his show would feature simulated sex and strippers. GAA officials in Cork were said to be livid, particularly when it turned out the rumours weren’t true. According to reviews, when bored fans started singing “Ole, Ole, Ole”, Prince said, “This town needs an enema.” To which the locals responded, “We already have loads of enemies, like.”

JOHN LENNON

There are two types of people in the world. Those who think John Lennon wrote better songs than Paul McCartney. And those who haven’t heard We All Stand Together. That whole Frog Chorus thing is enough to settle any debate. Of course, it’s a badge of pride here that most of the Beatles had Irish roots. That’s pushing it. “This country was so crap that your ancestors were forced to move to Liverpool. Aren’t we great all the same?”