LIFE LESSONS

And the Oscar goes to... Blah Blah Land

KATY HARRINGTON

Epic Oscars fail! Biggest mistake in awards history! The insane title screw up! Ah yes, it’s the stationery saga that keeps on giving, the mega-awks envelope snafu (any excuse to write snafu) that shockingly saw a movie that I never want to see wrongly awarded Best Picture when in fact the award SHOULD have gone to some movie I will probably never see. Of course it wasn’t too long before someone realised the mistake (thankfully not before the cast and crew of La La Land arrived on stage and started gushing) and the real winners, Moonlight, were handed the golden statues amid chaotic scenes the likes of which our generation may never see again, apparently. Since last Sunday night’s dramatics (who are these guys, actors?) victim Emma Stone has spoken out about her theory on the mix up, Faye no-wire-hangers Dunaway has protested it wasn’t her fault and this is just what happens when you dig Warren Beatty up a few hours before the ceremony, and some envelope stuffer from ‘venerable accounting firm’ PricewaterhouseCoopers is publicly humiliated. Meanwhile, us simple folk (those of us who can’t afford to pay for an ‘eyebrow artist’ to fly 7,500 miles to attend to our every eyebrow need, as sometime environmentalist Leonardo DiCaprio apparently did) are left to make sense of it all. While my heart goes out to all the innocent millionaires affected, I can’t help thinking perhaps something good may come of all this. The debacle has made some question the authenticity of the Oscars, so maybe this is the beginning of the end for greedy ego fests, hysteria over average Hollywood movies and all the red carpet nonsense (“Hi stick lady, please spend the next minute giving free advertising to an astronomically expensive fashion designer and jeweller!) Every cloud...