The Empress of Very Very Long Fingers

AINE O’CONNOR

You know when you just need a straight run? A straight run of 30 minutes, an hour maybe, to focus on a particular task. It’s not a big task, it’s just a concentrated one that you cannot do whilst folding the laundry or cooking the dinner or cleaning your car or whatever else happens to come up.

You mightn’t necessarily be totally under pressure to do it, you might have a bit of leeway, lots even but this is the time that you set everything aside to do this one thing.

There was nothing imminent, you’d a clear stretch of time, the will, the way, the whatnot and then you get interrupted. Not once, not twice, but roughly 98 times. Take it from the Empress of Very Long Fingers, on whose personal crest is carved “Why do-um today-um what you can do-um at the very last minute-um. Ergo. Et al.” This is not the same as when you sabotage your own deadlines. No, no, no, no. That’s the never-was-my-house-so-clean-as-when-I-work-from-home rule.

Stick on a wash, empty the dishwasher, goddam it, even ironing can be tempting if there is something else you should be doing. No, this is when you actually got your act together to focus and external factors intervened to thwart you.

The first few times you’re amenable, helpful, cordial. But on the 98th time, five hours after you sat down to do something that should have taken 30 minutes, your train of thought is shattered, your patience shredded and time is now a factor and cordial is just one of the things you want to throw over the next person who interrupts you. You focus, you vow to ignore everything and power through. The doorbell rings, you ignore it. It rings again. And again. Perhaps it’s urgent. “Sorry to disturb you but can I ask you who your electricity is with?” NO!