Dear auld fella,

DAD, I am writing (well typing, as no one could read my writing) this letter more than 20 years too late — where the hell does the time go? I just want to say ‘thank you’. I still remember the Saturday evening in March in 1996 when you went out with Ma and two of your sisters. Lord knows none of us expected the phone call at 2am to say you had died. The whole period round that time was a blur.

And I never said thanks. Thank you for letting me go to London at 17 years of age, even though it broke your heart.

Thank you for passing on your love of Gaelic football. You spent every moment possible teaching us (the two brothers and I) how to play ball, how to read a game, how to look after ourselves on the pitch — never to start a fight but never to back down either. I have tried to pass these tips on to the three grandchildren— Ciara, Conor and Danny — you never got to meet; what a loss.

Thank you for teaching me a good work ethic. We never had money growing up but never wanted for anything. I remember your hands being cut to pieces when you did the holly wreaths at Christmas to make extra money.

Thank you for my love of Irish music (even though I don’t have a note in my head). You used to make cassette recordings of TTTR Radio in the late 1980s and post them over to me in London so I could listen to bit of home.

Thank you for my strength of character — stubborn some would say (and many would not thank you for that) — it has helped me to deal with what life throws at us.

Thank you for the memories. So many good ones. We had a great childhood we just didn’t realise it at the time. As kids we were too busy with our own stuff to stop and wonder what you and Ma would have been going through. As a parent I now appreciate what you did for us every day. Your dreams and desires took a back seat to what your three lads wanted. Thank you.

You have missed so much by not being around. There is not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and what you have done for me. Dad — Thank you and I miss you.

Tom.

Tom Downey, Inniskeen, Co Monaghan