ELEANOR GOGGIN Does everything stink, or is it just me?

I’M vile humoured and cranky at the moment. I haven’t had a cigarette in weeks and to compound my extremely grumpy status I can smell and taste everything — and it’s not good.

For years and years (pretty much since I was 14), I have been fairly oblivious to foul odours. I could rarely smell perfume from people and I didn’t very often smell unpleasant pongs from people either. I was nose blind.

But that’s all different now and very unpleasant. I got on the bus the other day and nearly choked. It really was the great unwashed. Sweat, damp, dirt all mingled together to create a vomit-inducing stench that I had never experienced before.

And I can’t decide to stay in and not subject myself to pain, because my house is as bad. Every room has a different smell and none of them good. The dog stinks to high heaven. My worry is that if I haven’t been smelling much for years what have other people been forced to endure all this time. Did Buddy always stink?

I was going to dinner the other night and on my way I popped in to Brown Thomas for a squirt of perfume. And as is my wont I over-did it and tried on as many as I could without being noticed. And the different aromas came up to meet me while I was eating and again I nearly vomited. I was obviously under an illusion about my own little gaseous emissions and happily allowed them to slip telling myself they were odourless. I now realise that was not the case and apologise to anyone who has been affected.

I also apologise to people who have been in my house and been subjected to any fetid aromas.

Please don’t think badly of me. I’m on top of it now.