Amuse bouche... No veg, thanks

Malachi thought adults were weird about vegetables.

Like, how come he had to eat them when Grandad didn’t?

Grandad had eaten all sorts of vegetables until recently. He even ate the disgusting ones, like stringy old orange turnip, which Granny mashed into carrots, as if that made it any nicer.

Not even Malachi’s baby brother would eat the mush when there was orange turnip in it, and he hadn’t fully wised up yet to the fact that vegetables were yocky.

Grandad had, though. Grandad had gone on veg strike.

The first time it happened was when Malachi, his mum, dad and the baby were at Granny and Grandad’s for Sunday dinner. The adults got all worked up about it when Grandad refused the veg. It was like Grandad had told them some really bad news or something. Like Grandad was dying or something.

Malachi’s friend Sean’s grandad had died, but he’d been sick for ages. And he was very old. Malachi didn’t know if Sean’s grandad had given up vegetables at any point, but everyone seemed to think that Grandad’s refusal was “a bad sign”.

Malachi had overheard Mum and Granny talking about it in the kitchen

“I always said that when his appetite went, it would be time to worry,” Granny said.

“It’s not really his appetite, though,” Mum replied. “He ate all his chicken and gravy and spuds. He just didn’t want any sprouts.”

“But it was the way he said it,” Granny said. “He said he wasn’t eating them any more and that he’d never liked them at all. That’s news to me. Do you think I should ring the doctor?”

“No, not yet,” said Mum. “Wait and see if it’s just the sprouts he’s gone off. Sure, who really likes sprouts anyway?”

A few days later, Malachi heard Mum on the phone to Granny. Apparently Grandad had been refusing carrots, parsnips and even peas.

Malachi knew this was serious, and not just from Mum’s voice. Sure, even Malachi could cope with peas.

Grandad hadn’t eaten a vegetable since. And he was getting away with it. No one was making him eat them, like they did with Malachi. Over dinner one night, Malachi listened to Dad tell Mum that he could see Grandad’s point.

Dad said if he got to Grandad’s fine age, he might go on veg strike, too. Grandad had earned it, Dad said.

“So, does no one like veg?” Malachi asked. “Can I go on veg strike, too?”

Mum and Dad looked horrified. “Eat up your cabbage,” they said to Malachi. “Vegetables are good for you.”