RONALDO TOO MUCH SILENCE?
The old assumptions about celebrity and sexual interactions just aren’t good enough any more, writes Sarah Caden
AFUNNY thing happens when you google photographs of Cristiano Ronaldo with a girl in a nightclub... The funny thing is you come up with a lot of them. Over the years, he’s celebrated a lot by having nights out — well, he’s had a lot to celebrate. And he’s had a lot of selfies taken by request, and he’s been photographed by onlookers, too, hugging, dancing, drinking, laughing with many, many girls.
Cristiano Ronaldo’s football career has been long and illustrious, so far.
It all gets a bit unfunny when you read about women with “curves on display”, arms “snaked” around him. “Snaking”, since Adam and Eve, has never meant anything good.
The subtext of many of the fun-times snaps of Ronaldo over the years is that the women were only throwing themselves at him. He was the star and he was somehow at their mercy.
Women throwing themselves at men, famous men in particular, has long been a cover-all excuse for whatever followed. It firmly placed responsibility for whatever happened to follow in the lap of the starbedazzled women — and, until now, the blame tended to sit right there.
Which is not to say that Cristiano Ronaldo ever behaved out of turn with any of the women who snaked themselves around him. It’s merely to say that the manner in which we regard these interactions is shifting post #MeToo.
Curves can be on display, twerking can occur in a person’s face, drinks can be taken, bedrooms can be entered, clothes can even be removed. But without consent, a line is crossed. And none of the behaviour preceding a lack of consent is to blame.
If you specifically google 2009 photographs of Cristiano Ronaldo in a Las Vegas nightclub with Kathryn Mayorga, you discover what looks like a fairly standard night out. The photographs are taken from a distance. The pair chat, faces and bodies close together. There is one picture which we’ve reproduced today — where the Portuguese footballer looks away, seeming to spot the photographer, while Mayorga looks up at him. You could even call it gazing up at him. They’re drinking, they’re close.
One could read things in to where the night seems to be going.
One might have made assumptions.
One can’t make those assumptions any more.
Eight days ago, German newspaper Der Spiegel published a story with Kathryn Mayorga. She alleged that she was raped by Ronaldo on that photographed night in 2009. Allegedly, she went to Ronaldo’s penthouse hotel room that night and he raped her. She says that she repeatedly told him “no”.
A year later, in 2010, she was paid to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA). Mayorga says she has suffered hugely in the decade since. Ronaldo has denied the allegations and has threatened to sue Der Spiegel. He has said publicly that this is an example of someone trying to profit from his name and celebrity.
That is a position that just doesn’t fly in the post#MeToo era.
That is a position, even if he is entirely innocent, that smacks of the sense of arrogance and entitlement that runs through so much of #MeToo. It smacks of ‘they were throwing themselves at me’.
Ronaldo is merely the subject of rape allegations — but there is something in this position that now rankles. And no one is prepared to let that pass any more. Ronaldo, it is reported, was not present for the signing of the agreement and Mayorga was allegedly paid $375,000.
Mayorga, it has since emerged, reported the alleged rape to Las Vegas police in 2009, the day after it is said to have occurred. At the time, she did not name her accuser, but it is reported that she explained that he was a public figure and that police performed a rape-kit examination.
The alleged rape is, of course, significant. But a huge element of this scandal now surrounding Ronaldo is the NDA.
Silence, and in particular, bought silence, is anathema in the current, utterly altered climate and culture.
Silence flourishes in a culture of shame.
Last Friday, while Ronaldo’s club, Juventus, were standing by him, citing his wonderful contribution and exemplary record, and Nike were reportedly “worried” by the scandal, video footage was leaked of the star and Kathryn Mayorga, on that night, in that nightclub. One caption read that it showed Mayorga “sexually harassing” the footballer. “She is truly finished,” it read.
The video footage shows Mayorga dancing with Ronaldo, having a drink, behaving as people do in nightclubs. As far as sexually harassing goes, she seems to touch him on the ass at one point when he turns away to talk to his male companion. She’s undoubtedly flirtatious. And so is he.
To speculate any further is to stray into dangerous territory, though.
The reason that this is dangerous was exemplified last week — as Donald Trump made his bizarre and inappropriate attack on the credibility of Professor Christine Blasey Ford, one of the women who has accused US Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct. The assault she alleges occurred at a house party when they were in high school.
In a tone that can only be described as mocking of Blasey Ford, Trump said to a rally in Mississippi: “How did you get home? ‘I don’t remember.’ Where is the place? ‘I don’t remember.’ how many years ago was it? ‘I don’t know.’”
He went on in this style for a bit, leading to: “Upstairs? Downstairs? Where was it — I don’t know. But I had one beer, that’s the only thing I remember.” ’
According to the White House, this was an effort on Trump’s part to highlight “factual inaccuracies”. It doesn’t add up, is the message there. But when does it ever add up neatly in such situations?
Further, isn’t the fact that such situations are never neat a huge part of what has led to a culture of silence and self-blame?
What Trump is doing is playing on that which has kept victims silent. The questions he poses are those that feature prominently on the latest spin-off of #MeToo, the thread of victims of sexual assault explaining why they Didn’t Report It.
And mostly, people didn’t report because they didn’t think they would be believed. Because they perceived their attacker as more powerful than they were. Because the steps that led to the moment where something became an assault or a rape did not neatly add up.
The mocking questions posed by Donald Trump last week were ones that every victim will have asked themselves in some shape or form. Why did I go there? Why did I have that drink? Why did I wear that? Why did we kiss? Why did I end up alone with them? Why did I choose that route home? The list is endless. And the self-flagellation for any victim is endless.
And none of it means that the assault was their fault, or a consequence of their behaviour. The self-blame is the weak spot in any victim, though, and it gives the attacker the power all over again and endlessly.
Apparently, according to her lawyers, Kathryn Mayorga found the courage from #MeToo to come forward with her allegations. After all, Der Spiegel had reported claims against Ronaldo in 2017 — just not with Mayorga’s name attached. Ronaldo has made a statement that rape is a crime utterly in contravention of everything he believes in.
Mayorga’s lawyers are now reportedly seeking a London-based accuser of the footballer on similar allegations.
Certainly, they will have no trouble finding images of him in nightclub situations and clinches similar to that in which he was snapped with Kathryn Mayorga. None of which mean anything untoward occurred. None of which either mean that those women were riding on the coat tails of his celebrity or throwing themselves at him.
The days of making those assumptions are truly past.
‘Silence, and in particular, bought silence, is anathema in the current, utterly altered climate and culture. And silence flourishes in a culture of shame’