‘The best-paid gigs are usually the worst’

COLIN Murphy is a comedian from Co Down — well-known for his regular appearances on the BBC comedy panel show, The Blame Game. He lives in Belfast. His new stand-up show, Bald Ambition, kicked off last month and runs until mid-December.

The show will be in Whelan’s, Dublin on November 18 and the Wexford Arts Centre on December 1. For more information on venues, visit thatcolinmurphy.com. What’s the most important lesson about money which your career as a comedian has taught you? The best-paid gigs are usually the worst. What’s the most expensive country you’ve visited? Hong Kong or Japan probably. My view of Hong Kong prices may be a bit skewed though. I was doing gigs there and we were staying in a hotel so fancy that the G8 summit had been held there the week before. I didn’t own a credit card then and they wouldn’t let me check in without one. They didn’t accept Laser. Ireland isn’t the cheapest place on earth either. What’s your favourite song about money? Bankrobber by The Clash. Apart from property, what’s the most expensive thing you have ever bought? My car. I have an aversion to buying things on hire purchase so only deal in cash and try to do a deal. What was your worst job? I’ve had many. One of the worst was when I was selling burglar alarms door-to-door in England, on a seriously dodgy housing estate. I got chased off the estate by a mob with pit bull terriers. What was your biggest financial mistake? Gym membership. I did the classic thing of joining up and paying by monthly direct debit – and I then stopped going and never got around to cancelling the subscription. I try not to think about how much I must have wasted on that. If you could design your own euro note, what image would you put on it? The picture off a Trocaire box. Would you buy property in Ireland now? Not a chance. I couldn’t afford anything anywhere I’d really want to live. What’s the best advice you ever got about money ? When you’ve got it, be grateful. When you’re self employed, as I’ve been for almost all of my working life, it can be feast or famine through no fault of your own — so it’s good to remind yourself of that when you’re flush. What three things would you not be able to do without if you were tightening your belt? Just one thing. Long summer holidays in west Cork. Do you expect to be better or worse off after Brexit? I very much doubt I will be better off under a hard Brexit. I’m too angry to talk about it. Are you a spender or a saver? I’m most definitely a saver. Before I was a comedian I was a freelance illustrator, so I’ve never known any real job security and so I’ve always been a hoarder. I’m not a man for gadgets or tech or fancy cars either, which helps. Do you prefer to use cash or card? I was always a cash person when I had it and a cheque person when I didn’t. The cheques were great for buying you a few days grace between pay days. I don’t do credit cards at all except for work — when there’s no other choice. I use my debit card all the time now. What tax annoys you most? Tax that massive corporations don’t pay. Also, the threshold for inheritance tax seems unfairly low. That could do with going up a notch or two. The best thing financially about living in Belfast? I can afford to pay my mortgage.