Those small mercies of being grateful

I’VE taken to bedtime stories. In order to stop my mind wandering to bad places in those crucial moments before sleep I listen to some kind of uplifting stuff on YouTube. Focusing on those words stops me listening to the occasionally freaky ones in my head. I do it in the morning too if I wake too early. Today was one such day so I chose something about gratitude. It was mindfulness-related, focus on the positive, count your blessings stuff. So I dozed for a little while more, surfacing now and again to a list of things to be grateful for and then, already awash in grateful virtue, I got up.

I made my coffee, that comforting morning ritual. I think it’s the aroma as much as anything that works for me. But I hadn’t rinsed the cup properly so it smelled and tasted of washing up liquid. Be grateful, at least I had enough to make a second batch. I knocked a glass on the floor, it smashed very thoroughly and although I thought I got all the pieces the bit that sliced open my toe suggested I didn’t. Be grateful, at least I found that elusive sliver when I took it out of my toe.

With a bandaged toe and coffee that just smelled and tasted of coffee I switched on the laptop. Restart Your Computer to Complete Updates. Big updates obviously because half an hour later it is still telling me Do Not Switch Off Your Computer. Right, I won’t switch it off but can I throw it across the room? Deep breaths, be grateful… at least I have a computer. And a room to throw it across.

My car won’t start. The starter motor that has been sputtering until pay day finally gives up. Child can’t get to school. Um, nope, no bright side, Gratitude fail. The child smiles, she is grateful instead.