COLIN FARRELL
Parent, actor
Chosen childhood memory item:
A windmill “The greatest gift we can give our children is the gift of love. Within that gift is another gift that I think is essential — the gift of acceptance, through allowing a child the trials and errors of figuring out who they are, who they wish to be. I think if a child can learn independence, that will serve them all their days.
“I’ve been so lucky with my health all my life, but I do clearly remember having my tonsils removed. I must have been about seven, and I remember — if you’ll excuse the drama — watching my mother walk down the corridor away from me after visiting hours. I remember feeling awfully lonely — and I repeat, I was only having my tonsils removed. I think I was in and out in two or three days.
“I think having a family member there, without visiting-hour constraints, would have made it better for me as a child.
“Having experienced a child of mine being hospitalised and being at the mercy of the hospital staff, I remember my overwhelming gratitude for all the attention my son received. However, the overriding feelings were the expected ones: fear, concern, helplessness and definitely, a very keen sense of focus.
“The presence of love really can — in my experience — pull us through most of life’s challenges.
“As a parent, one can feel helpless when faced with a situation where you cannot instantly see your child [progress] into healing or better health. Of course, such sadness and frustration can be a very powerful thing, and result in a darkness of mood, understandably. But I would humbly suggest that if a parent finds themselves caring for a sick child, to keep one eye on taking care of themselves too, whatever form that may take.
“It could be ensuring you get enough rest, a few pints with friends, or a walk on the strand — all in the name of staying as strong as you possibly can, so that your child can have you as present as you may possibly be. I would also say to lean on those you love and trust. Whatever battle you will be feeling inside belongs to you, but sharing it may be some relief. It is at times of such hardship that community, whether family or friends, really plays its part.”