Everyone loves Olivia

Given the controversy about who is or isn’t presenting the Oscars this year, maybe they should just cancel the whole thing — along with every other award ceremony coming down the pipe?

We’ve seen the Golden Globes and the template won’t change much. After a couple of years of anxiety about privilege, Hollywood has returned to its default setting and is no longer that fussed about #MeToo or #OscarSoWhite. Nobody will sully their acceptance speech by mentioning Washington, unless they’re Christian Bale (who has a sense of humour, who knew?).

Some slebs will post ‘ironic’ selfies like Daniel and Idris but they’ve set the bar way too high. Male actors will be allowed to wear whatever they’ve ironed, while female actors will be scrutinised and judged ‘best’ or ‘worst’ dressed. (And nobody will better Saoirse Ronan’s vintage couture). Olivia Colman will deservedly win everything. Everyone genuinely loves Olivia Colman. So much so, she’s allowed to wear what she likes.