THREE TIPS FOR EFFECTIVE REFRAMING

1 Write down the experience. When we write, we tend to automatically adopt a more rational and distant viewpoint. We’re able to give the situation context and clarity in a way that we can’t when we replay it over and over in our head. And when we write, we tend to be kinder to ourselves.

2 Focus on the cause. For example, if someone cut dangerously in front of you while you were driving to work, instead of focusing on you and your own stress levels, try to think about the fact that the other driver may be stressed because their mother may be unwell, angry because they had a row with their partner, or not had enough sleep because their kids were up all night. As soon as you focus on the other person and what might be going on in their life, you begin to put the event in context. Remember: other people’s negative behaviour is evidence that they’re in a bad place and that their lives are not going well.

3 Replay the event as if you were

an observer. Think of yourself as a sports commentator, narrating your situation. Call yourself ‘he’ or ‘she’, or give yourself a different name. This takes you out of the heat of the moment, forces you to take a broader, less me-focused view and helps prevent you from catastrophising.