ELEANOR GOGGIN

I hate to admit it but OMG, I’m OMG...

EVEN though I hate to admit it, I’m beginning to realise I’m old. No longer’ getting old’. I’m just old. Plain and simple. It’s all moving too quickly for me now. Technology. Language. Other cars. I can no longer keep up with the language of young people. I find myself talking the talk of old folk. I found myself saying the other day to someone “I’d like a nice little lie down before I go out”. Jesus that’s horrific.

So acronyms freak me out. Three young people were having a conversation with me the other day and one of them said IMO in the middle of a sentence. By the time I had worked out that she meant ‘in my opinion’, I had lost the whole meaning of the discussion. And later on she said IMHO which to the foolish means ‘In my honest opinion’. I’m not sure if she was being dishonest the first time she used it. Somebody texted ATM to me the other day and the only thing I could think of was a bank machine. It took me at least half an hour to come to a logical conclusion. Why did I bother? Thirty minutes I’ll never get back. I suppose I suffer from FOLLAG — Fear of looking like a gobshite.

Watching the rugby the other night it struck me again. They were warbling on about HIAs. Why can’t they just say head injury assessment? Why can’t everyone just say all the words?. It’s not going to take that long. And it will make life much easier for people like me. I remember a few years ago being sent information about a trip abroad and the name of the hotel was TBC. At the time I smoked, so I googled hotels to see if there was a balcony. Guess what, I couldn’t find the Hotel TBC which stands for ‘To be confirmed’.

Oh My God, I’m Off My Game — OMG, I’m OMG.