Amuse bouche... Valentine Vegan

‘You’re acting like I’m some sort of weirdo,” Susie said. “Or someone you’ve never met before. What’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I suggested we go out for a nice Valentine’s meal and you’re suggesting a vegan place,” Graham replied.

“But we are vegan,” Susie said. “Aren’t we?”

Susie and Graham hadn’t been out for dinner since Christmas. Which meant that they hadn’t been out for dinner since Veganuary began and somehow became Vegebruary. Was that a thing?

And now, Susie was suggesting a vegan restaurant. Graham didn’t care how many good reviews it had, he wasn’t paying restaurant prices for vegetables.

He knew after a month of cooking vegan that it wasn’t exactly dear. He wasn’t paying the fillet steak prices for cauliflower steak dishes. Graham smiled at his little joke.

“It’s grand at home,” Graham said, “but vegan is hardly a treat, is it? Couldn’t we go to that Italian place where we went on our first date? That was amazing.”

“Yeah, amazing to sit there while they shave a leg of Parma ham at your table,” Susie said. “Monstrous. And we’d only be asking for dirty looks if we asked if anything on the menu was dairy-free. A real treat. Really romantic.”

Graham made a face that suggested he could cope.

“You’d eat meat there, wouldn’t you?” Susie said, her voice catching with emotion.

“Special occasion?” Graham said. “Who are you?” Susie said. “Eh, I’m the guy who only stopped eating meat, like, last month,” Graham said. “As an experiment. I’m thinking a pause. A romantic pause.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be kissing you if there had been pig in your mouth,” said Susie.

“You used to kiss me all the time after pig and cow and chicken and whatever,” said Graham. “You even kissed me after kebabs. Plenty of times.” “That was before,” said Susie. “It was only before Christmas,” said Graham, “and we only went vegan because we’d done the complete dog on the pints and kebabs at Christmas. Or that’s what I thought, anyway. Are you, like, a vegan now?”

“Eh, are you, like, a vegan tourist now?” Susie replied, with something like disgust on her face. “Are you some sort of flexitarian? Because I’m in it for keeps.”

“We couldn’t have a break?” Graham said, “just for Valentine’s?”

“We could have a break,” said Susie, “but maybe not for cured ham. I feel like I don’t know you any more, Graham.”