What’s the word for useless?

Every year, lexicographers crown one word that has, for whatever reason, dominated the news. It might only be February, but nominations for 2019’s “Word Of The Year” should already be shut down. There’s no point. Surely nothing is going to beat “reprofiling”?

As a result of spiralling costs at the National Children’s Hospital, it’s everywhere, as sheepish ministers announce that the Government will be “reprofiling” €100m of funding away from other projects in order to pay for their mistakes. Remember: they’re not cutting these budgets. Just reprofiling them.

It could catch on. “Of course I’m not sleeping with your best friend, I’m just reprofiling our relationship.”

“The car? Oh, don’t worry, dear. I just reprofiled the rear bumper against the wall while reversing.”

Suffice to say, useless ministers are probably hoping voters don’t decide to subject the Dail to a bit of “reprofiling” of their own when they get the chance.