Overheard at brunch IV

“She was quite hard to get, actually, which was

nice. She wouldn’t give me her number initially, so I got it off her friend and surprised her. She was like, ‘With respect, I’m taking a break from f*ckboys’ — so I said I wanted to take her out for dinner, to a place with tablecloths, like. I talked about my ex a lot, so she knew I could be vulnerable — girls like that. She wanted to split the bill — I said I was going to the toilet, and then paid it myself, and was like, ‘You can make me coffee instead’.

“So we go back to hers, and things are going well — I’m at her bookshelf all, ‘Oh, Jack Kerouac. cool,’ and next thing we’re taking each other’s clothes off. But then, I’m not joking: a full disco bush. And I’m looking at it, and she’s looking at me, and I’m looking at it, and I’m, like, ‘I respect you too much to do this tonight’.

“It’s not that I’m not a feminist. I’m, like, the biggest feminist I know. I have three sisters! I slept with Aine on her period! So I totally believe in a woman’s right to choose, but I also believe in my right to choose, you know? Preferences can’t be sexist!

“And it wasn’t so much the pubes themselves, as what they meant: will politics always be more important than me in our relationship? Not that I’m looking for a relationship, I did make that very clear on the way home from dinner.

“I texted her the next day with the usual: ‘I really like you, but I’m not in the right headspace right now. You’ve got really great energy’.

These bro brunches are great, btw. Like, this is the kind of feminism I believe in. The right for two guys to just go for eggs royale and for that to be OK — no homo, like!

“I feel good about tonight’s date: she’s already sent nudes, so no surprises. And we’re not going for dinner.”