Amuse bouche... Talking Italian

‘What would everyone think about pizza?” Muireann asked.

Not one of her three teenage children looked up. She waved her arms. All three faces slowly lifted. “Pizza?” Muireann said. “Takeaway?” Jonah asked. “No, we were going to go out for it,” said Muireann.

“Oh,” said Jonah. He shot a glance at his two siblings.

Kitty looked down at her phone again. Jonah and Sam just looked at each other, in some sort of stand-off.

“What?” Muireann asked. “You’ll be away from the bloody screens for an hour or so. We’ll just walk down to Luigi’s, you lot can get pizza, Dad and I can get some pasta and a glass of wine, and we walk home again. No big deal.”

“I’m not telling her,” said Jonah. “What?” Muireann asked. “We’ll come if you promise not to talk Italian,” said Luke. “Sorry?” said Muireann. “If you promise to just talk normally, we’ll come,” said Kitty.

“Like, just say mozzarella in your normal voice, and don’t be reading the stuff off the specials board in your Italian voice,” said Sam.

Muireann stood for a second in silence, then busied herself with the dishwasher. She needed a minute with the cutlery tray to gather herself.

“So,” said Muireann. “You’ll come and let me buy you pizza if I behave myself ?”

“It’s just embarrassing, Mum,” said Jonah, in his sweet I-want-something voice. “Everyone just says the stuff normally. Just call it ham, like, not cutto, or whatever.”

“Cotto,” said Muireann. “Yeah, that,” said Sam. “It’s ham. We’re in Ireland.”

“None of you objected when I spoke Italian on your behalf when we were in actual Italy last summer,” said Muireann. “Or did I imagine that?”

“No,” said Kitty,” but that’s different. That’s holidays. No one knows us there.”

“Yeah,” said Muireann. “And you’d get nothing to eat if your mummy didn’t order for you. You know what was embarrassing? The way you lot lied to me about doing your Learn Italian app every day. You couldn’t even get yourselves an ice cream.”

“I know how,” said Jonah. “It’s just embarrassing talking.”

“Well, guess what?” said Muireann. “I’m paying, so if you come, I will talk.”

“OK,” said Kitty, “but would you even talk quietly?”

“Maybe,” said Muireann. “But I’ll warn you, I’ll be having prosciutto and mozzarella, and maybe some risotto and a side order of zucchini.”

“We never should have told her,” said Sam, as they all readied to leave for Luigi’s.

“Andiamo!” said Muireann.