Sunday Independent (Ireland)

Lucky, the stray with plenty of cattitude

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HI, I’m Lucky and I’m six years old. I came to this family as a rescue cat who was initially a stray. I manipulate­d them to take me to their mansion (I knew straight away they were my servants).

They have the jobs of opening the door, feeding me, making the bed for me to sleep on (you idiots!) and treating me the way I should be — like a king!

I know that I’m the top cat around here which gets me into lots of fights to keep the top spot. Those other puny peasants of cats don’t stand a chance against me.

I often come back with war injuries such as a broken tail which stopped me from sitting down for a week. There was one time when my servants betrayed me and put this foul trapezium known as a cone on my head! I thought it might have been a crown, but it wasn’t!

I was humiliated by my own servants! How very embarrassi­ng.

Now, since I am a king, I eat like a king! I get two packets of cat food a day for free. I know those idiotic humans have to pay for their food — stupidly, they haven’t figured out how to get their food for free. A little flick of the tail and an affectiona­te purr will get you anything you want.

Recently I have been upgraded to as good as it looks cat food, but it has been giving me some tummy trouble.

Fortunatel­y, my servants were there to clean up after me in the kitchen. I have them right where I want them.

Sometimes I get lovely Dreamies as a treat, though I think I should get them all the time as I’m so well behaved. I only bite and scratch when the servants try to hold me close — they

need to learn their place. A peasant cannot touch the king!

One thing in particular that annoys me that my servants do is that they completely overreact when I give them a bite or a scratch. What else do they expect? Humans are idiots!

Sometimes when I’m out pesky dogs try to chase me around though they always end up bowing down before me as I jump up a wall and flee. Now just because I’m the king doesn’t mean I’m not a great warrior. I have fought off many good-fornothing cats on my journey who are twice my size.

I have lots of cattitude.

Tess (15) and Brendan (10) McAtamney, Belfast

If you would like your pet featured in this column please send a story of 440 words and a photograph to snews@independen­t.ie clearly labelled MY PET

 ??  ?? Name: Lucky
Finest hour: Getting my new servants Likes: Manipulati­ng those servants Dislikes: Affection from my servants, roofers, dogs, other cats, other idiots
Name: Lucky Finest hour: Getting my new servants Likes: Manipulati­ng those servants Dislikes: Affection from my servants, roofers, dogs, other cats, other idiots

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