Supporting an anxious child

1. When your child becomes anxious, pause, breathe in and try to exude calm; although it’s hard, you do not need to react in the moment.

2. Before you can help your child you need to help yourself. Reflecting on how you feel gives you choices in how to react. This is hard so try to be kind to yourself.

3. Reflective parenting, in which a parent tunes into themselves and into their child’s internal state, helps your child to feel understood and connected with you.

4. Talking to your child about anxiety will not make them more anxious. Helping your child to understand what’s happening inside their bodies helps them feel less alone and more empowered.

5. Try to meet your child where they are at – instead of denying or minimizing their fears, reflect back your understanding of what they are going through. You are their anchor and their sense of safe.

6. It is only when a child feels safe and connected that they can move on to gradually facing their fears or trying something new.

7. Unpacking, or exploring your child’s fears, helps you to pinpoint what it is exactly about a situation that is scary for them which also helps you to see the situation from their point of view, facilitating your empathy.

8. Above all, be gentle on you and your child. This is hard. You are not alone. Trying to see your child’s anxiety as an opportunity to build on your connection will help you both get through and even build on their resilience going forward.