Remembrance events ‘must be for all who died’
A NATIONAL day of remembrance, to be held when the Covid-19 pandemic eventually ends, should apply not only to victims who died with the virus, a grieving husband has said.
Author Philip Lecane, whose wife Kate died of cancer in November, said all families who lost loved ones during the pandemic had experienced similar difficulties in grieving under current restrictions.
The suffering of families unable to visit loved ones with the virus in hospital was the same as the suffering of those prevented from visiting patients with other serious illnesses, the Dublin-based writer said.
“When my wife Kate experienced stomach pains last May, it took a weekand-a-half to persuade her to get a hospital check-up as she was afraid in case she contracted Covid,” Mr Lecane said.
“When she was admitted to hospital I couldn’t visit her. It took five days before I got to speak to a doctor on the phone. Kate was diagnosed with cancer.
“I was not allowed to visit for most of the time. When she came home, her family and friends were not allowed to visit her.
“She died in hospital on November 27. As with all who die in these perilous times, Kate had a restricted church service and funeral where I was deprived of the comfort and support of many friends and neighbours.”
He said his experiences mirrored those of many bereaved families.
Retired nurse and midwife Ms Lecane (65) was “kind, gentle and brave”.
“Kate faced her illness with honesty, courage and dignity,” her heartbroken husband said. “We spoke about the implications of the illness, our love for each other and the joy each had brought to the other. I miss Kate every day.”
Mr Lecane, who has written books on Irish aspects of World War I, said he felt hurt by suggestions that a national day of remembrance after the pandemic should be only for those who died with Covid.
“A truly inclusive and healing” event would include all who had died during the pandemic, he added.
Father Donal Roche, the administrator of Wicklow town and Rathnew, said there had been 70 funerals in his parish since the latest lockdown began and up to 20 had died with Covid-19.
He said all bereaved families were deprived of the support and comfort common to Irish funerals in normal times. In the cases of large families, adults mourning parents were unable to have their spouses or children beside them in church because of the 10-person limit.
“Also, handshakes and hugs can be better than words at funerals, but these could not be allowed,” Fr Roche said.
There was no distinguishing between the grief of families, and all who had suffered losses should be included in any future national commemoration.
It could include a televised address by President Michael D Higgins, a holiday could be declared, and each community could come together on that day, Fr Roche said.
A spokesman for President Higgins said he shared the wishes of people to put the Covid-19 experience behind them, and he would participate in any plan for a national day of remembrance.
A government spokesman referred to its Covid Plan, which states that when the time is right, “events will be developed to commemorate those we have lost, to celebrate all those who have helped us survive and endure and ensure there is support for all those who feel alone or lost”.