There was nothing like Dame Shirley
The writer, journalist and feminist freed women from drab lives and then became a racy novelist, writes Lucinda O’Sullivan
‘Life’s too short to stuff a mushroom” was the rebellious letitallhangloose phrase coined by Shirley Conran, who died last week at 91, way back in 1976 when she produced her sensational Superwoman Yearbook. Gripping a whole generation of wannabe Superwomen at the time, it was so successful it was followed in 1978 by Superwoman 2 — What To Do With The Time You Save.
The books, in essence, were basically clever updates of Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management for the Victorian era and of the 1935 publication The Woman’s Book, both of which guided the “mistress of the house” through the duties of her staff, indoor games, entertaining, etiquette, first aid and so much more.
Looking at the Superwoman Yearbook now, almost 50 years later, Conran may have upended the advice given to housewives and hostesses on how to manage servants and their weekly duties and the etiquette of calling cards — her take on the modern day woman of the 1970s was undoubtedly still absolutely upperclass and elitist and almost as amusingly aspirational as the “lifestyle” books that went before her.
With sections covering fashionable shops for each area of your home, “important” regional theatres and concert halls, Superwoman’s “reputation maker” recipes for modernday hostesses to dazzle their guests included the Duchess of Windsor’s prawn creole and elderflower champagne consomme with caviar.
Being also the height of the exotic avocado period — even bathrooms were universally a vile avocado green — Princess Margaret’s avocado pear soup and the Duchess of Bedford’s avocado starter featured. “Family favourite” recipes included The Savoy club sandwich and Lady Ayer’s fried cheese sandwich, while nods to the “plebs” included Irish stew, poor man’s cassoulet, Ena Sharples’s Lancashire roughened potatoes and braised pig’s liver — none of which I could see gracing fine china plates in Kensington.
There were daily diary reminder notes of important events such as “Royal Ascot week begins”, where everyone wondered what Gertrude Shilling would show us? (Mrs Shilling being famous for her outrageous hats.) There was a reminder to “overhaul the television” as “Wimbledon tennis starts on Monday”, while in November there was a prod to “start dieting for Christmas”. A brilliantly clever journalist and racy novelist, Conran followed her 1970s Superwoman era in the 1980s with her thinly disguised page turner Lace, based on famous folks of the era, including King Hussein of Jordan.
She scoffed at Fifty Shades of Grey in a 2012 interview, remarking that
“it took until page 100 for her [the heroine, Ana] to be whacked with a hairbrush and until page 400 for her to be hit with a belt”.
Conran, who was born in 1932, was married to the equally brilliant, if somewhat
She is looking forward to her party in the sky with all her friends and family
difficult, designer Terence Conran from 1955 to 1962, way before he was knighted for creating a whole new ScandiBritish lifestyle world of furniture with Habitat, and restaurants including Bibendum and Quaglino’s, plus cookery and design books galore.
The golden couple of the time, their short marriage produced two sons, fashion designer Jasper and Sebastian. Her former husband went on to marry three more times, his last wife being Vicky Davis from Greystones. Shirley Conran married twice more, both marriages ending in divorce, before saying: “F**k it, I’m happy as I am.”
She was forever pushing the case for women. In 1968, she became women’s editor of the Daily Mail and launched Femail, the newspaper’s first dedicated women’s section, which explored interests beyond the previous norms of knitting, dress patterns and recipes. Last December, Conran was made a dame in Liz Truss’s resignation honours list.
On May 1, Jasper Conran announced on Instagram his mother would be receiving the insignia of her damehood from the Lord Lieutenant of London, Kenneth Olisa, on behalf of King Charles, in her hospital bed.
“My mum is on her final journey, she is looking forward to her party in the sky with all her friends and family,” he wrote, adding that she was enjoying the messages from the public.
It was certainly a stylish, if poignant, exit from the stage of life, and a message to the rest of us to honour people while they are still around to enjoy it. Indeed, in 2022, Shirley didn’t hold back in expressing the view that she was surprised she still hadn’t been made a dame (for helping people with anxiety about mathematics, spending more than £1m on maths books in the process).
“I sometimes wonder why I’m not, if you look at the people who are, especially if they’ve given £1m to some royal charity. There are a hell of a lot of actors who just go along, get paid £25,000 to cut a ribbon at the opening of a supermarket, then they say they’ve worked for charity and get made a dame for it,” she said.
It was somewhat amusing that her damehood was awarded in Truss’s resignation honours — some may say it was probably the only intelligent thing Truss did during her tenure in Downing Street. However, Conran got her wish on May Day and died nine days later, a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire for service to mathematics education.
There’s no doubt that the women of today owe something to the great Shirley Conran, and perhaps my favourite piece of her advice was this: “The Empress Josephine, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Margaret Thatcher and Barbara Cartland didn’t get to the top by accident or by melting into the background.”
I’ve also thrown out the ironing board, vowing to never let one darken my door again. And this evening I’ll be raising a glass to her with a “Pussyfoot” — in her words “an exotic frothy cocktail much ordered by model girls, who don’t want their escorts to realise that their diets forbid alcohol”.
What a dame.
There were excited schoolchildren, speeches about mental health, a formal welcome ceremony and an outfit change. Musicians and dancers showcased local culture, the military put on a show and the guests of honour let slip a few sweet anecdotes about their children.
If this was royal tour bingo, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex would have nearly a full house.
In Nigeria, the start of their threeday trip saw them follow the triedand-tested programme Harry has known all his adult life. But this time, it was on the Sussexes’ own terms.
Travelling for a programme designed around the Invictus Games, which counts the Nigerian team as its most recent recruit, the Duke and Duchess will tick off engagements related to their favourite causes: women’s empowerment for Meghan, a polo fundraiser for Prince Harry and an event about mental health for both.
Instead of a travelling pool of British, American and Nigerian media to cover their work, as would happen in their royal days, they gave permission for one chosen reporter – the chief foreign correspondent of US celebrity magazine People – and a Getty photographer to join them to watch and write.
Where they once represented the then Queen and country, they are now free to represent only themselves and their charities. The signing of a visitors’ book at the Nigerian Defence HQ in Abuja saw the Duchess, who has spoken of being “43pc Nigerian”, write: “With gratitude for the support of the Invictus community. And for welcoming me home.”
Traditionally, royal women honour the host nation by wearing local designers or the colours of the country. This time, Meghan wore pure white while the duke donned a suit in green: together making up the colours of the Nigerian flag.
In an earlier outfit, the duchess wore a low-backed, peach-coloured dress in the neutral tones she is known for. She has previously said that while in Britain, she “rarely wore colour” in an effort to not “stand out” or clash with the royal family.
The duke and duchess were filmed joining in a pre-school music and dance class, revealing Princess Lilibet, who is nearly three, likes her “singing and dancing” classes and five-year-old Prince Archie loves “construction”.
This is the type of trip to fit the Sussexes in their newfound freedom – high on smiling selfies, hugs and heartfelt words and low on official handshakes, diplomatic meetings and British press.
Instead of a private secretary and palace advisers on foreign and Commonwealth matters, they had James Holt, the director of the Archewell Foundation, David Wiseman, the director for International Development at the Invictus Games Foundation and their press secretaries.
Four years after they left working royal life, the couple are back on the world stage. After years of looking back – in a memoir, Netflix series and myriad interviews focusing on the challenges of their time in the royal family – they are trying to look forward.
The duchess is in the midst of releasing her American Riviera Orchard brand into the world and the duke ploughs on with his Invictus mission.
Adenike Keennam, whose husband is in the air force, met Meghan at the official welcome ceremony.
Yesterday, Harry joined in a sitting volleyball game in Nigeria for wounded troops, watched by his wife, who was called “Auntie Meghan” by local children.
The duke joined “Team Harry” on the pitch in Asokoro, Abuja, as part of a showcase of the Nigeria: Unconquered team.
Nigeria: Unconquered, which works in collaboration with the Invictus Games founded by the duke, uses sport as a way of challenging and channelling wounded, sick and injured service personnel to “help them find new purpose”.
The volleyball game was the first engagement on the second day of the Sussexes’ trip to Nigeria to promote the Invictus Games.
On arrival, they were given green and white scarves – the colours of Nigeria – to wear while watching the game.
After 15 minutes in the stands, the duke was invited to take part. Spectators saw the duchess, wearing a Johanna Ortiz dress, smiling broadly and cheering when he scored his first point.
Nine-year-old Tiwa Akanbi was ushered forward to meet the duchess.
“She said Prince Harry loves to play volleyball and that he’s very good at it,” Tiwa said afterwards. “And she asked me if I play volleyball in my school. And I said yes.”